


Run, Scarlet, Run

by MagicallyDelirious



Category: ColdFlash - Fandom, DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alt Zoom, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff sometimes, Humor sometimes, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, all of the feels, ish, reluctanthero!Len
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:09:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5146427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicallyDelirious/pseuds/MagicallyDelirious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(ColdFlash) Barry Allen has lotsa secrets, one of them being he's The Flash, the other... he tries very hard to ignore, but when Leonard Snart escapes from Iron Heights leaving behind a chilling message just for him, Barry's hand is forced. The feelings he's ignored for so long are now front and center as all his focus shifts to the dangerous Rogue, Captain Cold, who's seemingly set on destroying The Flash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Run, Scarlet, Run

Barry Allen loved the Fall. The air always smelled so clean and crisp, while the trees, the few they had in Central City, transformed- their leaves turning beautiful shades of yellow, orange, and an oddly pleasant pinkish red. It wasn't too hot like August got, or too cold like January could be, but just right. He could wear sweaters without, well sweating, yet there was no need to break out the winter coat, hat and gloves. The Fall was his favorite season and Halloween was his favorite part- only a few weeks away.

When he was a kid it was more so because it was the one day of the year he didn't have to be Barry Allen. The geeky kid whose dad murdered his mom. The weirdo with only one friend in the whole world, his foster sister at that- Iris. He could forget, if only for a little, that he was the favorite target of every bully at Central City Elementary. Barry could be anyone or anything he wanted. For one day, he could be a super hero: one that could have saved his mom. Perhaps, a cop: one that worked tirelessly to prove his dad's innocents. The possibilities were endless.

There was some deep-seated psychology in the whole thing, but it remained his favorite even after all these years-- being Barry Allen and more so The Flash could still be quite- overwhelming.

This year he wanted to be just a normal everyday average joe- just some guy. He was sure that wouldn't go over too well with Iris, though. Her enthusiasm for Halloween exceeded his own. She often had multiple costume ideas for him to pick from, which he had to pick from. Not that he minded all that much, because it made her smile. Barry loved when Iris smiled. It often made him feel as though all was right with the world, and making Iris happy was a constant lifelong goal of his, though the costume party she’d mention only after inviting everyone was something he wasn’t wholly sure about. If only because she was most likely hoping to draw him out of his recent funk- Barry grimaced.

Today happened to be one of those perfect Fall days. The sun was shining, yet he wasn't roasting, the air was cool yet not biting. It was the kind of day that seemed to make everyone you met a little more pleasant. All in all a perfect day in Barry Allen's book. Yet, even with the perfect day and his favorite holiday just around the corner Barry couldn't shake the unease he'd awoken with. This was more than what Iris called his funk, well, extended funk now, he supposed.

Barry was no Cisco, he didn't get "vibes" or anything, but this morning when he awoke there was an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn't recall what he'd dreamt about, so he didn't think it had anything to do with that, but it was something. Furthermore, that something was not good.

As he walked to Jitter's on this perfect Fall day he was too preoccupied with trying to ignore that "something not good" to enjoy it.

Suddenly, Barry found himself in front of Jitter's and spied a smiling Iris who offered him an excited wave through the window. Pushing his preoccupation aside he smiled back offering his own wave before taking a deep breath and pulling open the door. Jitter's was always crowded on Sunday mornings, but somehow it suddenly seemed even more so. Almost too crowded. Barry pushed that away too and made his way over to Iris.

"I was almost afraid you weren't going to show," Iris told him trying to hide her concern pushing his coffee towards him. "I mean you're always late, but you didn't answer my texts either."

"Sorry," he looked down at his phone and frowned noting he was quite late as well as four missed messages. "I've been a little off this morning, I guess."

"Oh, just this morning?" Iris tried to tease, but her obvious worry caused the attempt to fall flat.

"I'm sorry, Iris," he reiterated, because he really was.

Also, he really, really, didn't want to talk about the other thing.

Iris had always been there for him. His whole life. He loved her for it, but this funk was sort of putting a wedge between them. Iris, of course, just wanted to help. She loved him too. Barry, however, just wanted her to leave it alone. Not because there was nothing wrong. After a while even he had to accept that his funk was a thing, but because of what Iris thought was its cause--Leonard Snart AKA Captain Cold, and Barry just couldn't accept that.

"It's okay," Iris replied with a slightly too brilliant smile, reading some cue in his voice or facial expression he was sure no one else would have picked up. "Now that you're here we can talk Halloween party! Do you think it would be okay if we used STAR Labs?"

"The Lab?" Barry's brow furrowed as he sipped his now room temperature coffee- gross.

"Well, yea," Iris said after sipping her own, the face she made told him her coffee was probably just as startlingly gross as his. "My apartment doesn't have the room. I guess we could do it at dad's, but then he couldn't bow out early like he usually does. Why? Is it a bad idea?"

"No," Barry told her grimacing after another sip, though the normal subject of a Halloween party helped slightly ease the discomfort in his belly. "Of course, we can use the Labs. It'll be great, you'll have full reign."

Iris's response was a brilliant excited smile until she took another sip, "Ugh, next time I'll wait to order the coffee."

"I'll go get fresh cups," Barry offered chuckling at her cute grimace feeling almost- normal maybe? "Then we can talk Halloween party, Kay?"

Iris nodded gratefully seemingly relieved with more than just fresh coffee, though looked a bit sheepish as she handed over her cup. Barry stood to make his way to the counter smiling. Yet, on the inside he was frowning. Normally, Iris wouldn't have hesitated to tell him her coffee was awful because he was late, or even wait for him to begin drinking it. She was worried Barry would pull away again, so she was walking on egg shells, and he felt awful about it.

As he got in the rather long line he made a vow to be a better friend and brother. That vow pertained to all his friends and family. He was worrying them, hell, even he was beginning to worry. He hadn't even been like this after the singularity. Iris had been the only one to call him on his shit, but all she succeeded in doing was making him pull away. Probably because she'd managed to hit the nail on the head.

The others had theories concerning things that would cause anyone to act as Barry had been. The breach between worlds. Feeling responsible for said breach. The increased number of dangerous Metas in Central, some of whom had attempted to and or succeeded in murdering their unsuspecting doppelgangers, again, because of said breach. The arrival of a dickish Dr. Wells. Zoom... All of which made perfect sense, and were absolutely a concern of Barry's, but this funk was wholly caused by something different. Something he didn't even fully understand. Something he refused to even utter aloud.

Intellectually he knew that he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, he done the right thing by all accounts: still, his chest ached.

Ridiculous, he knew, and when it'd begun he pulled away knowing the others would reassure him he'd done the right thing. Barry didn't want reassurances. He wanted to not feel like there was a vice clamped around his heart every time he thought of-him- locked up, all alone, and for what amounted to simply making sure his sister would always be safe from the very real Boogey Man that terrorized their entire childhood.

Murder was unequivocally illegal and immoral. Yet that evening, Barry had finally understood the concept of justifiable homicide. He always staunchly believed there was a better way. Anyway really, yet Lewis would have been released eventually, and the danger he posed to both Snart siblings and likely Barry himself would have increased tenfold.

Would Barry himself have done any less for Iris if Joe, his foster father, had been like Lewis? Leaving scars such as the ones that marred Lisa's otherwise flawless flesh as well as the ones he could only see reflected in her rough exterior? Furthermore, what kind of scars did- he- carry? Was his flesh similarly marred to accompany the psychological scarring Barry had noticed when they'd first met? If Barry ran his fingertips across the flesh he'd long imagined to be soft to the touch and thought perfect, would he find evidence of just how horrible- his- nightmarish reality had been?

Deep down Barry knew these were the questions that kept him up at night and the real reason for his extended funk regardless of his refusal to talk about it.

Just as the sting in his eyes, one he'd become quite familiar with as of late, surfaced Barry was saved by the vibration of his phone. Quickly, gratefully, he answered it without looking. "Hello?"

"Barry, where are you?" Joe asked sounding uncharacteristically distressed.

"Jitters with Iris," Barry replied the unease returning and then some. "What happened?"

"Barry, Leonard Snart escaped," Barry immediately knew the cause for his unease, maybe- for some inexplicable reason he felt some of distress evaporate, as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, before it slammed back down.

"Okay," was his only reply, because he had no clue what to say or how to process his rather odd reaction and it was suddenly difficult to breathe.

"Okay?" Joe's distress was now mixed with frustration. "That's all you have to say is okay?"

"What else do you want me to say?" Barry asked genuinely curious as to what Joe thought was an appropriate reaction to his news. 

"I dunno," Joe admitted as Barry stepped away for some privacy, "but the fact that one of Central City's most notorious, not to mention extremely dangerous, criminals just broke out of the most secure prison wing in the country- where you put him- should probably garner some sort of reaction other than, 'okay'."

"It was only a matter of time, Joe," Barry told him honestly realizing just how inevitable it really was. "The Meta-Wing was only going to delay him."

"So you're saying you expected this?" Joe asked surprise now mixing with all the rest. "Snart's not even a meta."

"Well, when he sets his mind to something there's usually no stopping him," Barry replied shrugging a bit helplessly though Joe couldn’t see him, “he did promise he'd be seeing me."

"And you're not at all worried? Because you should be, Barr," Joe's tone told Barry he thought he wasn't taking this seriously enough. "I don't care if you think Snart's good somewhere deep down inside. He's a criminal and he's dangerous, and now you're telling me he's already promised to come after you."

"Joe, he's a lot of things, he's done a lot of things- bad things, I know. There's no denying it, but he won't hurt me." Barry's words sounded just as ridiculous to his own ears as they did to Joe's, judging by his foster father's scoff, but Barry still believed them with every fiber of his being.

Barry also didn't believe the parting words were really a threat-- just a promise of sorts.

"Don't tell me the two of you have an understanding?" Joe retorted sarcastically. "Another deal, right? 'Cause the last one worked out so well?"

"Joe…" Barry started though he was unsure how to say exactly why he believed it.

How in the hell did he explain that he, Barry Allen, The Flash, shared some sort of special connection with- him- Captain Cold, Super Villain extraordinaire? The answer was simple-- he didn't.

"Just, trust me."

"You, I trust, though I do sometimes question your judgement, particularly when it comes to Snart, who I absolutely do not trust by the way," Joe retorted, then his voice softened. "Listen Barry, you only see the good in people, even when there isn't really any good to see, and I admire you for that. I really do, but I think this is a clear-cut case of over identification."

Barry didn't respond right away. He didn't know how. Not for the first time he felt a twinge of doubt. He had told him he didn't need or want saving, more than once, in fact, but Barry was sure it was more the case of him not believing he could be saved. He shoved his doubt away, unable to allow himself to believe that was the case. Refusing to allow himself to give up on- him- but wasn't that Joe's point?

"When you look at Snart, you see what you could have become. That hits close to home," it did, just as close as Joe's words. "But there's gotta be some kind of three strike rule, Barry. Snart kidnapped 2 of your friends, tortured Cisco's brother, double crossed you. Yes, he saved your life, but only so you would owe him later, not to mention he killed someone in the process. Then when you rush off to rescue him he nearly kills you himself. Then you rush off to help save his sister and he lets his dad shoot you. Finally, to top it all off, you do manage to save his sister and he still murders his own father in front of you. That alone should have negated the deal you had. That's way more than three strikes, Barry. Snart should have been out a long time ago."

It all sounded so awful when it was put like that, and he couldn't only see, but understand Joe's point of view. Still, Barry had his own explanations for what was behind such seemingly callus acts. Not that he was going to share them with Joe, or anyone else, because they would definitely claim they were rationalizations not explanations. Barry didn't need or want to hear that, not when he still felt so guilty.

"Bar, I know you believe you and Snart have some kind of deal or something. That there's good in him- that he wouldn't hurt you and it scares the ever loving hell out of me. I was going to call in another forensic guy, but…" Joe's tone and the way trailed off made Barry's stomach sink as he finished Joe's, _you left me no choice_ , in his head, but the conviction in his voice when he continued made Barry’s heart sink. "I think he would, and I think he's planning to do more than just hurt you, Barry. Leonard Snart broke out of prison to kill The Flash."

"What?" Barry blurted as he struggled to process what and why Joe would say that.

"Well, aside from all the newspaper clippings, Snart left a message on the wall of his cell," Joe replied in a way Barry knew he’d been hoping they wouldn't have to go there, but Barry left him no choice.

Joe would do anything to protect his kids, even when it wasn't easy.

"It appears to be written in blood."

"What?" Barry's knees felt a little weak as possibilities raced through his mind. "What's it say?"

"Live Fast, Die Young... Run Scarlet Run."


	2. Chapter 2

“ _Live Fast, Die Young…Run Scarlet, Run.”_

 Barry repeated the message in his head. Over and over again, as though it would make it mean something to him, or at least sound less sinister. No luck, though Barry decided that was most likely because he was making his way through the dull depressing gray hallways of Iron Heights he’d come to loath. It felt as though he was going to his own funeral, but somehow worse. Barry could no longer ignore it all, and he was terrified it was only about to get worse in ways he’d refused to imagine.   

Believing the chilling message had its desired effect, which consisted of Barry losing the ability to speak or even breath for and extended moment, Joe had tried to let him off the hook. Yet, Barry wanted to-- no needed-- to see it for himself. A large part of him still believed there was a lot more to it. So much more, but a different part was forcing him to question himself.

That was fitting, though- he seemed to do that a lot since the dangerous Rouge entered his life.

Barry didn’t tell Joe that, though. Instead he simply told him he’d be there in a minute. As Barry hung up he scrunched his eyes shut taking a deep breath, trying to pull himself together enough to be able to tell Iris he needed to go without worrying her. When his eyes slid open again, Iris was already there not bothering to mask her worry, but managed to put a dampener on the irritation he knew she felt at the knowledge he'd been searching for a way to tell her without telling her about whatever had him rattled. 

“What happened? Is everything okay? Is Leonard okay?” Barry’s surprise at her question along with the fact he wasn’t entirely sure he was okay must’ve shown on his face and her voice took on an even softer tone. “You’re wearing that pained “I’m questioning my entire life,” expression you always get when you think about him.”

“Ah, no, L…” Barry cut himself off suddenly realizing how rattled he was. He never used his name, not even in his own head, or tried not to, and he’s almost just spoke it aloud. “Um, he- he escaped.”

“And?” Iris prompted gently, but with an edge only she and Joe seemed to be able to manage.

“And your dad thinks he’s going to kill The Flash,” Barry’s voice didn’t sound like his own.

It held all the feeling of a man rattling off an ingredient to Aunt Edna's Famous Potato Salad.

“And you?” Iris raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t know…” Iris to tilted her head as if to say ‘really, Barry?’, and while he wasn't sure if it was her natural interrogation prowess or his need to share his burden he elaborated. “He left a message for… The Flash. Your dad says it’s written in blood.”

“And it says ‘I’m going to kill The Flash’, does it?” Iris challenged, her voice taking on the same qualities her fathers had when trying to convince Barry he was wrong about- him- which took Barry by surprise.

“Well no,” Barry admitted. “It says…”

“I don’t need to know what it says,” Iris interjected. “The message is for you, Barry, not me, or my dad for that matter, Leonard left it for you.”

“But he’s criminal, and he’s dangerous,” Barry repeated Joe’s arguments for lack of neither the words nor the ability to say anything else.

“Whose tune changed when you, Barry Allen, not The Flash, came barreling into his life,” Iris said firmly. “Who saved your life…”

“Only so I would owe him later,” Barry didn’t want anymore confusion added to the whole thing.

“Barry,” Iris said carefully, but firmly. “I love dad, but he’s not right all the time. We both know that better than anyone, and I think this is one of those times. Those are dad’s words not yours.” Barry had no real reply, he just stood there with his mouth slightly agape and his eyes stung even more so. “Dad wants to protect us from everything. Look at what he did with Eddie- to Eddie, and me for that matter. He tried to force my hand. To save me from what I had to go through, but he was wrong.”

“Iris, I’m so…” Barry started flooded with guilt.

“No, you don’t get to apologize for that,” she cut him off, her voice hard and full of conviction, but then softened again. “My fiancé was a hero. Listen, Barry, after all that happened I pushed everyone away, especially you, but not because I blamed you, or them, but because I blamed myself.”

“It wasn’t your…”

“I know that now,” Iris assured him, “but I didn’t then. I was selfish, I thought the article Not- Really-Well’s showed him, or our relationship…” she gestured between the two of them. “I thought maybe if I’d said or done something different, things would have turned out different. That Eddie would have loved me enough to stay, or something.”

“Eddie loved you so much Iris, more than anything,” Barry told her, because he had and she needed to know that.

“I know he did, but like I said- selfish,” she wore a small sad smile. “You were the one that brought me to my senses. You, Barry, reminded me Eddie was a hero, that it had nothing to do with me. Eddie did what he did to save countless lives, because it was the right thing to do, because that’s who he was. A hero. I realized to think anything less was an injustice to Eddie’s memory.”

“Iris,” was all Barry said because he had no idea what else to say.

“I never thanked you for that- after I pulled away- then you continued to keep your distance- anyway, that’s what I’m trying to do now. Thank you,” Barry opened his mouth to tell her, her thanks were unnecessary, but she silenced him again by holding up a hand. “The point is, Bar, yes, I miss Eddie like hell. Yes, it really fucking hurts, but I wouldn’t change what I had with him for anything. If dad had his way maybe I wouldn’t be going through all this, maybe it would be worse? I don’t really know, but what I do know is that I wouldn’t have all the wonderful memories that I do. You see Bar, dad wants to protect us from everything, because he loves us, but that doesn’t mean he’s always right. Leonard- is a lot of things, you know that better than I do, and while I don’t exactly trust him, I trust you, which is why I’m going to tell you to follow your heart.” Barry’s eyes followed as she gently placed her hand on his chest. “What does your heart tell you Barry?”

“He wouldn’t hurt me,” Barry’s voice was nothing more than a whisper.

“I don’t think so either,” Iris smiled reassuringly. “So, I think what you need to do is go make sure he’s alright and we can compare- theories later.”

Barry felt all the more jumbled for Iris’s words, but he was still so grateful for them. If it was at all possible he loved Iris even more in that moment. His eyes glistened with tears as he simply nodded, before clasping Iris’s hand in thanks and turning away unable to find his voice.

Still, he somehow felt slightly lighter.

“Oh, and Barry,” Iris called after him and he turned back to her. “He’s not Voldemort, use his name, it’s weird and a little creepy when you don’t.”

Barry actually laughed at her words, because it was ridiculous. With another deep breath and a weak smile he turned to face the something he’d been ignoring for far too long.

Leaving Jitter’s Barry'd felt much more confident in himself thanks to Iris, but as he neared what had been- his- no, Leonard’s- Len’s- Snart’s- most recent home, he felt an awful sense of foreboding. Something felt wrong, very wrong. Not just “Super Villain escaped” wrong, something- more.

Iris’s words hadn’t fully processed in his jumbled state, but hit him like a ton of bricks. Suddenly, the awful foreboding that had slowed his feet transformed into panic, quickening his pace to what would be considered a sprint for a normal person. Another one of Iris’s words popped unbidden into his mind, “selfish” as he skidded to a halt in front of Snart’s cell.

There were Detectives and Prison Guards sort of milling about looking slightly nervous. They hardly registered, nor did the obscene remarks from the other Metas, or even the burgundy almost brown message neatly scrolled on the cell wall. What registered first and foremost was how small and empty Len’s cell was. The cell Barry had put him in. It was worse than solitary confinement. Barry felt claustrophobic just looking at it as he wondered how many hours Len had spent staring at the depressing gray wall.

“Barry,” Joe said in a way that made Barry think that he’d said it a few times as a hand clamping down on his shoulder snapping him out of it. “I told you, you didn’t have to come. It’s bad enough hearing it, but actually seeing it…”

“I’m fine,” Barry prevented him from continuing.

While he was far from fine, well, unless by fine he meant ‘fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional’ then yes he was that, very much so, but he couldn’t let Joe see that. He offered his foster father his best reassuring smile, which was pretty weak, before he steeled himself and entered the small confines which had been Len’s, no, Snart’s, home up until sometime before head count an hour or so ago.

Barry forced himself to focus on the chilling message Snart had very carefully painted on the wall. The twisting in the pit of his stomach increased and the vice clamped around his heart tightened when he got a closer look and saw it did indeed appear to be blood. The actual words were unsettling, but the thought that really made him squirm was what the hell had happened to make Snart feel the need to use his own blood to leave it. Iris had insisted it was a message for him, but his whirlwind of emotion was keeping its meaning just out of his reach.

That was, if it even had any meaning other than what Joe had told him.

“Creepy, right?” Patti suddenly appeared behind him startling him a bit, which he tried to cover up by squatting down and opening his forensics kit. “I’d really hate to be The Flash right now. Captain Cold might not be a Meta, but in so many ways he much more dangerous. He’s a genius. I mean for a criminal, anyway. And he killed his own father. Not that he didn’t deserve it...” Patti’s voice sort of squeaked as she realized what she said causing her to pause for a moment before continuing. “Still, The Flash is in some serious trouble- to actually use his own blood…”

“You think he’s really going to go after The Flash,” Barry asked cutting her off as she shivered at her own words.

“Well, yea,” Patti said a bit sheepishly as she sometimes did when she talked to Barry. “I mean the message is pretty clear, right? With the Flash being the one who put him in here, even with the whole mess of his dad putting a bomb in his sister…” something in Barry’s face must’ve made her trail off so he tried to rein himself in and forced his attention back to what he was supposed to be doing. “I mean obviously, murder is murder, still he must be pretty pissed to not only break out of prison before his trial, but leave a message in blood of all things. It doesn’t really make all that much sense, does it?”

“Is it blood?” Joe interjected as he saddled up net to Patti, who quickly remembered there was probably something else she should be doing.

Barry thought Joe was going to be the worst part of this whole thing with his “I told you so” looks, but Patti’s, who was a genuinely sweet and caring person, interpretation had him reeling. Barry tried to ignore it all, though he couldn’t help but hold his breath as he carefully swiped the blood with a Q-tip. Within seconds the end of the swab turned bright pink. It was definitely blood.

“I’ll take a sample from a few spots so we can run a DNA test and see whose it is,” Barry forced out after a few beats of awkward silence, his voice sounding strained. “Do they know how he did it?”

“Not a clue,” Joe told him trying to sound casual as though this wasn’t a thing. “Surveillance was clean. No one coming or going that shouldn’t have been. Doesn’t seem to have been tampered with. Either way we can’t see inside the cell, though hopefully that'll change after this. But, it’s like he just disappeared.”

To hide his ever increasing anxiety Barry plowed forward with his tasks as Joe lowered his voice.

“Don’t worry Barry we’ll find him quick. He won’t get to you if I have anything to say about it.”

Barry nodded unsure of what to say, because he wanted nothing more than to find Snart as quickly as possible. Not because he was worried about his own safety, but because he was worried about Snart- Leonard- Len. If someone, or something, was able to… Barry couldn’t even finish the thought. His eyes began to sting again. He suddenly felt as though he had failed Len miserably. Tucking his blood samples carefully away he stood up, wanting nothing more in that moment than to zip off and search every nook and cranny of Central City until he found him.

“They finished dumping the burner we found in the mattress,” Patti said as she approached sounding distressed making both Barry and Joe’s heads snap in her direction. “Snart made three calls in the past three days. The first two during morning shift change and the last this morning 45 minutes before this morning’s head count. All of them were to a cell phone registered to a Clyde Mardon.”

“That’s impossible,” Joe’s said immediately and Barry suddenly knew why Patti seemed so distressed, Mardon’s brother killed her father. “Clyde Mardon’s dead, that doesn’t make any sense.”

“But Mark isn’t,” Barry’s stomach dropped at the realization. “It makes perfect sense. It was the same with Nimbus. It wouldn’t raise any red flags because he’s not in the system anymore. They certainly resemble one another if you’re not looking too closely, and most people don’t.”

“You think he’s back,” Joe asked looking even more worried most likely thinking of the disaster their last encounter had been all thanks to Len, no, Snart.

“I dunno,” Barry admitted a bit distractedly, “Mardon and Bivolo owe him- so does Baez. It wouldn’t be the first time she broke someone out.”

“But their powers can’t work in here,” Patti reminded them, though she sounded uncertain. “Can they?”

“I dunno,” Barry said again as possibilities raced through his mind. “There’s so much we don’t know about Metas in general.”

“I though Metas weren’t your thing?” Patti asked suspiciously, but only because her tone was suddenly lighter.

“They’re not,” Joe answered before Barry could. “I asked him to look into some of it for me. He’s good at the science stuff.”

“Science stuff is my thing,” Barry confirmed a little too quickly.

“Either way,” Joe changed the subject. “Snart’s out he’s going to want his gun back.”

“Already called Cisco,” Patti informed seemingly proud that she was on top of things, despite her distraction. “He’s going to go check on it, now. He should be there any...”

“He’s on his way there now?” Barry blurted out with his panic mounting.

While he wasn’t exactly sure what the hell was really going on, he wanted Cisco nowhere near STAR Labs, or Caitlin for that matter.

“Well, yea,” Patti replied slowly. “A patrol went by shortly after Snart’s escape and gave it the all clear and there’s another stationed outside. Did I do wrong?”

“No,” Barry said pulling out his own phone. “Of course, not, I just… I just changed the code and he doesn’t know it yet. I better call him.”

Barry didn’t wait for a reply as he hit send and skirted out of the cell and farther down the hall near the entrance gate where there were no cells. While he wasn’t exactly sure what the hell was really going on, no one should be anywhere near STAR Labs till he did. He wanted them all somewhere safe until he did know what was going on- like Tahiti.

“Hey, Barry,” Cisco said overly cheerful, which told Barry he was worried. “I picked up Caitlin and we’re almost at the Labs to meet with CCPD’s finest. Everything is gonna be alright, buddy. We’ll fix this. It’ll be okay. Won’t be the first time we’ve taken down Captain Cold, amirite?”

“Don’t go to the Labs,” was Barry’s almost frantic reply. “I want neither you nor Caitlin, or anybody, anywhere near the Labs.”

“But the Cold Gun, Barry, it’s…” Cisco sounded confused, before Barry cut him off.

“No!” Barry nearly shouted. “Just forget the Cold gun. I’ll go, you guys, both of you- you need to get Firestorm and Iris, she was at Jitter’s 30 minutes ago, Jay too- just get somewhere safe. I’ll come to you when I’m done.” Barry’s mind was racing and suddenly Patti’s words popped up in the forefront of his mind, ‘it doesn’t make all that much sense, does it?’ No, it certainly didn’t. The last time Lenny did something that didn’t make sense- Lisa. “Call Lisa, too.”

“Lisa?” Cisco dropped his faux cheerful routine as obvious concern flooded his voice. “What’s wrong with Lisa?”

“Nothing, I dunno,” Barry replied wanting to reassure him on some way, but he couldn’t, because he truly didn’t know that there was nothing wrong. He made a split second decision. “Just, call Lisa. Make sure she’s safe. Find her, bring her with you. Make sure you’re all safe.”

“Patti said Snart was after you,” Cisco challenged, though Barry knew he was worried about Lisa too even though he would probably never admit it and would have called her regardless as soon as Barry put the idea she might be in any kind of danger in his head. “We’re supposed to just bring what is our most likely to be kidnapper, Sister Cold, to our somewhere safe?”

“No, not Sister Cold, Lisa,” Cisco had a valid point, but something in Barry’s gut told him Lisa was most likely in danger too.

Right now, he wasn’t thinking about ‘Sister Cold’. Barry was thinking about the scared woman who came to them worried for the brother she loved so much. The woman that trusted Cisco enough to remove the bomb her father put in her neck.

“Cisco just get everyone somewhere safe. Somewhere out of town preferably.”

“Even Sister Cold?” Cisco sounded skeptical but Barry knew he was going to do it regardless.

“Yes, get Lisa. Get somewhere safe. Out of the city,” Barry reiterated, “Firestorm, Iris, Jay, whoever, too.”

“What’s really going on Barry?” Cisco demanded, which was not really something Barry was used to from Cisco. Barry racked his brain for an answer, any answer, because he knew his friend was upset, Caitlyn too, most likely, but nothing was forthcoming. “Barry!”

“I dunno Cisco,” Barry admitted.

Everything was a mess; nothing made sense. Snart escaped, which definitely didn’t make sense before his trial. Presumably to kill The Flash, which made Barry’s heart ache, yet, he left a message clearly stating his intentions? Though, it could possibly be chalked up to Snart’s theatrical tendencies, Barry’s gut told him no.

Snart wrote on the wall in blood, possibly, but hopefully not his own. It could be more theatrics, but Snart always has a reason for everything. Maybe there was nothing else to write with? Barry didn’t see anything to write with, but Snart had a fricking cell phone. A marker would probably be easier to smuggle in than that. Then there were the calls to Mardon. If Snart was working with Mardon he wouldn’t want the cops to know. Why didn’t he take his phone? He had to know they’d check the call log. Then again Snart always had a plan. Usually a flawless plan. Maybe he wanted Barry to question everything. To see him sweat, before he took him out- Maybe it was all just a classic misdirect. Barry didn’t tell Cisco all that, instead he said...

“I have no fricking idea Cisco, but it’s something alright. Something more.”

Barry glanced over his shoulder back at Snart’s cell and even from this distance he could see the message that Len literally bled to leave, just for him.

  
_“Live Fast, Die young… Run Scarlet Run.”_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Sorry it took a bit... hope you enjoy :-)

Barry was still reeling as he made his way to STAR Labs at normal people pace. He was glad Cisco and Caitlyn weren't going to be there. Danger aside, he needed time to sort himself out. He felt jumbled; uneasy, hurt, suspicious, even scared, and probably 100 other different things he couldn't identify all at once. Barry ran through what Joe had said and what the evidence seemed to be pointing towards. Still, he just couldn't get himself there. Snart was a criminal, but a criminal with a code.

Part of that code seemed to be- up until now apparently- to keep Barry alive.

Barry sort of felt like he was betraying Len even going to STAR Labs. He wasn't even sure how he'd gotten to that point. In what universe should he ever feel guilty for doubting Captain Cold? Yet, here it was. More than once he thought about turning around, but all the circumstantial evidence pointed in one direction. Captain Cold broke out of prison to kill The Flash- Len wanted to kill Barry.

The thought made Barry's chest ache in a way he could hardly describe other than devastatingly. Should it really surprise him that Captain Cold wanted his nemesis, the Flash, dead? No, not at all. In fact, the others didn't even bat an eye. It was a no-brainer, an easy conclusion for them to come to. Still, it hurt like hell. It might not make a whole lot of sense to anyone else, but to him it made perfect sense.

Len and Barry weren't Captain Cold and The Flash.

Well they were, but things changed once they'd become Len and Barry, and not just Cold and Scarlet respectively. Even with heaps of circumstantial evidence and that twinge of doubt Barry felt more worried _for_ Len than _about_ him. He was positive that was not what Joe had intended when he'd called and revealed the ominous message. Barry felt nauseous on top of everything else.

It was as though he was betraying everyone in some way, shape, or form.

His family by not doing what everyone else could so clearly see he should be doing. Well, everyone but Iris, but Iris only felt that way because Barry felt how he felt and honestly this wouldn't be the first time he'd been wrong. Not by a long shot. Was it a mistake for his first move to be to make sure Lisa Snart was safe, while simultaneously putting her within the perfect position to force the Flash's hand or even take most of his friends and family out in one fell swoop?

Barry took a deep breath before he swiped his card positive he was actually going to throw up and pulled open the back door. He was just here to check on things at the Labs and work on his speed. Maybe check on the Cold Gun too, just because he was here, that's all. Beside he owned STAR Labs, so it wasn't really all that weird for him to be here, right? Also, he had more than one valid reason to feel the need to make sure all was well. Barry shouldn't feel guilty at all, but that didn't change the fact that he did.

As the Fastest Man Alive the stairs were undoubtedly faster than the elevator, so obviously, Barry chose the latter. It didn't delay what he was dreading by much, but he would take what he could get. Stupid, he knew, because it was inevitable, there was no getting around it, but that didn't stop him from dragging his feet. All too soon he reached the floor where Cisco kept his latest toys. It struck Barry that there was a lot more than just the Cold Gun in there. Just as the door dinged open the ringing of his cell phone startled him.

_Cisco._

"Did you find her?" Barry asked anxiously foregoing any traditional greetings as he exited the elevator.

"Oh, we got her alright," Cisco said sounding a bit off.

"She alright?" Barry asked suddenly even more worried that he'd been wrong.

"She's…" Cisco began, but was cut off by a sort of shrill voice.

"Fucking pissed!" Lisa's shouted in the background sounding beyond pissed in Barry's opinion. "Tell them to un-cuff me right this goddamned second, Flash!"

"You cuffed her?" Barry questioned exasperatedly. "I told you to make sure she was safe, not kidnap her Cisco!"

"It was the only way to make sure she was safe, man." Cisco replied defensively. "She wouldn't come with us, besides it was better than what Caitlin wanted to do, which was drug and blindfold her!"

"Right fucking now, Flash!" Lisa's shouting drowned out whatever Caitlin was shouting in her own defense.

"So, she had no idea?" Barry felt sort of relieved, because that would mean he wasn't wrong, but it also made his stomach sink, because that meant Len was in trouble.

"I don't think…" Cisco started before he was cut off again.

"If anything, and I mean anything, even a freaking hang nail, happens to Lenny, I will end you, Flash! All of you!" Lisa still sounded extremely angry, but desperate and terrified at the same time.

"Let me talk to her," Barry decided hoping he would be able to smooth it over.

There was scuffling and a few muttered curses before he was sure Lisa had the phone.

"Flash, I swear if you don't tell me what the hell is going on…" Lisa snapped leaving the threat hanging in the air, and while Barry didn't doubt the threat was very real it caused his chest to ache for a very different reason.

Now that she wasn't just shouting in the background he could hear that there was significantly more fear than anger in her voice.

"I don't know what's going on, Lisa," he replied honestly hoping his own emotions were in better check than hers. "Your brother would want you safe, and…"

"Since when do you care about Lenny and what he wants?"

Lisa's interjection sounded more like a growl than anything else, and while he chalked her words up to frustration knowing how much he would hate being side-lined while someone he loved was possibly in danger, it didn't stop the increasing ache in his chest at the accusation or the flush in his cheeks at the "always" on the tip of his tongue.

"Lisa, the last time your brother did something that made no sense, and none of this makes any sense, it was because you were in danger," Barry said instead as firmly as he could manage. "You're the only person he loves and cares about. You are the only person he would do anything for, so if I'm going to find out exactly what's going on, which I promise you I will do everything in my power and more, you have to be safe. My team will do that while I find out what's going on and make sure your brother's alright," Barry felt like he was baring his soul in some way though he hadn't outright said anything and while that made him feel very uncomfortable he needed Lisa's cooperation.

"Fine," Lisa agreed reluctantly after a few beats.

"Thank you," Barry let out a relieved sigh. "Now, is there anything you can tell me that might help us. Anything at all?"

Barry was surprised that Lisa trusted him without much reason to save the one person she loved most in the world. Not that she hadn't trusted him before, but she had come to them unlike this time where she was virtually kidnapped by his team. It made him feel sort of warm inside in a strange way, but maybe that was all part of Len’s plan. Things were as complicated as ever and Barry was still just as, if not more so, confused as before.

"Not that I know of," Lisa replied a little irritably and Barry knew it had something to do with the same helplessness he was currently feeling. "I haven't really spoken to him since you had him locked up. He only called me once last week and that was to tell me to take Mick up on his offer for the Coast City job. When I said no again, because his trial was coming up he told me not to come to the trial and lay low, out of town, preferably. Which obviously I didn't do, because if I had your team wouldn't have been able to kidnap me."

"Actually, we would have, I put a…" Cisco began in the background but Barry talked over him, because he knew about the tracker Cisco put on Lisa's bike, and he wasn't sure Lisa would believe him when he tried to tell her it was in case she got into any trouble, even if it was true.

Though he wouldn't doubt Lisa already knew it was there anyway.

"That didn't seem odd to you?" While he didn't know the exact dynamics of the Snart sibling's relationship, he did know Lenny loved Lisa enough to try and keep her out of whatever this was. "Not the kidnapping part, I mean the asking you to leave town and skipping the trial part."

"No, he doesn't like me to see him like that, or around it in general," Lisa sighed and Barry detected a smidge of guilt in her voice.

"But he takes you on heists with him?" Barry couldn't help himself.

Len letting her anywhere near any of it always sort of surprised him.

"He wouldn't if he didn't think I'd go out on my own anyway and get hurt- or worse. He tried to send me to college so I could have a normal productive life, and blah blah blah, but it didn't quite work out," Lisa's voice sounded sad so did the dry chuckle she tried to give to cover it up. "How did your lovely little Doctor friend put it? My whole family is nothing but a bunch of criminals or something like that?"

"Lisa," was all Barry said because he didn't know what else to say.

That could have very well been him with his dad locked up for life for murdering his mom. Joe and Iris were the only reason he turned out different, though everyone told him that wasn't the case, Barry wasn't so sure. Len was just as, if not smarter, than he was. It was heartbreaking, really.

"I can, however, tell you this, Scarlet," Lisa said after Barry failed to continue. "I'm not the only person Lenny cares about and would do anything for- should I dare say loves?"

"What?" was Barry's only reply, because thinking of Len loving someone that wasn't Lisa made him-  but no, he needed information. "Who?"

"If I have to tell you, you're as clueless as my brother, Flash," Lisa chuckled for real now followed by a scuffling that told him she was handing the phone back over to Cisco again.

"She's infuriating, right?" Cisco demanded irritably and Barry had a feeling it had nothing to do with what was going on right now.

"Cisco, un-cuff her," Barry instructed figuring they could have the other conversation later.

"What if she runs?" Cisco challenged.

"She won't," Barry was 98% sure she wouldn't anyway- maybe 93- 87ish.

"We have to be sure she's safe," Cisco insisted. "We can't let her go. I'm keeping the cuffs on."

"Cisco, you can't force her even if it's because you care," Barry said firmly and rather loudly "Just make sure she's always with you or Caitlin or something, just un-cuff her."

"Fine, I'll just tether her to me without the cuffs," Cisco decided. "Professor Stein, give me your tie."

"No, you can't do that either…" Barry tried to argue while Professor Stein grumbled in the background but Cisco hung up.

Barry stuffed his phone back into his pocket shaking his head, positive Lisa was going to have his ass when he next saw her. Still, he was finding it hard to be sorry for Cisco's over zealousness. It took a significant weight off his shoulders to know without a doubt Lisa would be safe. Barry suddenly realized he sort of liked Lisa in a strange "nemesis's sister" kind of way. Really, though, she wasn't all that bad. Just like Len wasn't all that bad. Maybe if things had been different for them- Len even tried to send her to college and give her a normal life.

Someone who was willing to do that couldn't be completely horrible.

Lisa's reaction to the situation had him feeling slightly more confident in his hasty decisions, but he still felt extremely on edge about the whole thing. What if Len didn't break out to kill The Flash then found out Team Flash had basically cuffed and kidnapped his baby sister. Owing Barry wouldn't matter at that point. Suddenly Barry's comment about knowing Lenny's secret seemed like a stupid thing to say. Not that he would ever do anything to Lisa, even to get to Len, but still- did Len know that?

Barry was so lost in his thoughts that the muffled thump that sounded like a very big box being half placed half dropped sort of startled him a little. His first thought was "thank god" and his first instinct was to run towards it, but he somehow managed to stop himself. Joe's warnings and suspicions played on repeat in his head as he reined himself in, then quietly continued down the hallway. He was torn between wanting it to be Len and praying it wasn't. His stomach was in knots and his heart was pounding so loudly he was positive whoever it was could actually hear it.

"Do you have no sense of self preservation, Barry?" An all too familiar chill inducing, though irritated, voice rang out clearly before Barry's shadow even darkened the doorway.  

It caused a wave of emotions stronger than anything he'd ever felt rushed through him.

Barry's steps faltered, but he forced himself to keep going. This was the moment of truth. This was where he learned whether or not he'd been right or just foolish. This was everything. Barry could hardly breathe. His eyes burned for a reason he refused to give a name. His feet felt like lead, though his heart was begging him to move faster. It was almost overwhelming as Barry struggled to keep himself in check.

The door to Cisco's store room was wide open and the sound of things being moved and slid around seemed to echo down the hallway now that he was fully focused. With one last deep breath Barry forced himself to step into the door way. He prayed his voice wouldn't quake with the whirlwind of emotion that was currently making him dizzy.

"Len," was all he said, because the relief that flooded him and the urge to rush forward at the site of his nemesis seemingly no worse for the wear would have been revealed, as well as Barry's biggest secret- the one that until that very moment, even he hadn't even fathomed the depths of.

Len paused what he was doing at the sound of Barry's voice, but he didn't look up, which for some reason sort of made Barry's heart sink.

"Do you not know how to take a hint, Scarlet?" the other man’s irritation seemed to have grown as he tossed a small case rather roughly over his should, which skidded to a halt at Barry's feet.

This, regardless whether he was right or wrong, was not what Barry expected to happen at all.

Len was angry, which wasn't what surprised him, what surprised him was he was angry at Barry. And seemingly for- not running? He scanned Len from head to toe and felt his chest tighten when he saw the bloodstained bandage on his forearm. That was when Barry noticed he was still in his prison jumpsuit with his sleeve rolled up. How the hell did he get up here still wearing that? There was no doubt the master thief possessed the skill to get into Star Labs pretty much undetected. Barry himself had come in the back door without the surveillance unit out front seeing him, but in his prison gear Len looked super suspicious. There was no way someone wouldn't have seen him.

"Len, what's going on?" Barry asked knowing he failed to conceal his new wave of fear. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy," Lenny replied in that familiar snarky tone without looking at him, still the word conjured the memory of what happened with Lewis and Lisa once again…

"Lisa's safe," Barry blurted out, because regardless of what the hell was going on he knew Len would need to know that.

By the way the odd tenseness in the other man's body relaxed just a smidge told Barry he was right, but it raised more questions than before. Why wasn't his first move to make sure the most important person in his life was safe if she was possibly in any kind of danger? Why the hell was Len only getting to the Labs now if he'd been out for hours now?

"You know Scarlet," Len's voice held a wholly new edge that made Barry want to reach out to him. "I was positive I'd never be grateful to Lewis for anything, but here I stand corrected."

The way Snart refused to look at him was making Barry feel all the more uneasy, but those words made his heart sink more so than it had all day.

"Yet, thanks to my good for nothing father, you've got it in your thick little skull, that I'm somehow good…"

"You are," Barry put all of the conviction he could muster into his voice to try and force Len to accept what he knew in his heart, before his voice became almost pleading. "There's another way, Len. Let me help you."

"How many times do I have to tell you, I don't want or need saving, Scarlet?" Len snapped angrily standing up to finally look at Barry, who could hardly breath at seeing the anger and pain and hopelessness etched in his nemesis’s features. "You are so-"

Len cut himself off abruptly as he actually took Barry in, who was simply standing there feeling so confused and hurt.

"Where the hell is your suit, Barry!?"

"My suit?" Barry questioned weakly, because he was capable of nothing else with his heart somehow breaking into smaller and smaller pieces.

Was he wrong? The way Len was looking at him- he looked so angry, and Captain Cold didn't lose his cool- ever.

"Yes, Scarlet your suit," his tone disgusted. "You got my message, I made sure."

The escaped inmate held up his injured forearm.

"Do you ever think Scarlet, or do you just act on your feelings?" he mocked then turned away and kicked what looked like a large tough box, and for some reason Len’s last statement hurt more than all the rest.

Barry could see the other man's shoulders rise and fall as though he was taking deep breaths before he turned around again, looking as calm and cool as ever.

"It's insulting, Barry."

Barry felt his brow furrow in confusion, then it dawned on him. He thought Barry was here to take him in- no suit- like Barry thought he didn't need it to take down Captain Cold. Was he here to take down Captain Cold, though? Barry realized he'd made no plans other than to make sure Len was okay. Coupled with the fact he really hadn't planned on running into him here that's what he decided to go with.

"I didn't come here to take you in," Barry told him honestly. "I came to…"

"Check on this?" Len snarked holding up the Cold Gun.

Even though it wasn't pointed directly at him, Barry had to stop himself from stepping back. That thing was painful with the suit on. Barry decided to try to appeal to the part of Len he believed was there, even if Len didn't believe it.

"Len," Barry said gently taking a tentative step forward. "You don't have to do this. Whatever this is-"

Barry took another step forward with more confidence when Lenny didn't move back or point the Cold Gun at him. Then another when he saw a glint of something that made his heart flutter flash in the other man's eyes.

"I can help you. You just have to let me."

Barry was right in front of Len now and as much as whatever he saw before made his heart flutter what he saw now made it ache. Len looked so torn: like he was in so much pain. Barry just wanted to make it go away.

"You might not see it, but I do. I believe in you."

Barry carefully reached out and brushed his fingertips along Len’s injured forearm. Len's eyes closed at his touch and he felt a spark of hope for the first time in what felt like forever. Snart’s eyes slid back open slowly and met Barry's causing his heart to skip a beat, because for the first time since he met the dangerous Rogue- he saw hope in his eyes too. The other man suddenly looked as though there was so much he wanted to say, needed to say. Barry's heart nearly stopped when Len opened his mouth to speak, but suddenly the lights began to flicker drawing both of their attention.

That wasn't supposed to happen in Star Labs. They ran on a separate power grid from the rest of the city and even their backup generator had a backup generator.

"That's exactly why I have to do this Scarlet."

Snart’s face had gone hard again and he stepped out of Barry's reach, who could think of nothing else to do, so in desperation he tried to speak to Len in a way he knew he understood.

"You owe me, Snart," Barry tried to keep his voice firm, but he was sure his desperation was clear as day.

"I do," Captain Cold, for it was Captain Cold speaking, conceded taking another step back wearing a look of pure determination. "Sorry, Barry."

Barry had no time to contemplate Len’s determination or his words, before in one swift motion, Len stepped towards him, and before he even saw it coming, brought the Cold Gun down hard. It smashed into the side Barry’s head. Shock more than anything else is what caused Barry to go down, but the dizziness, blurry vision, nausea and what he was sure was his heart shattering was what kept him down. Captain Cold swept out of the room.

The last thing Barry remembered before he stopped fighting against the blackness, his newly scrambled brain trying in vain to figure out what the fuck just happened, was the screeching alarm of Star Labs signaling that Captain Cold had escaped once again.


	4. Chapter 4

Barry's head was still spinning as he sat on a crate in Cisco's storage room with an ice pack held to the side of his head. His brain, which should have been completely fine by now, still felt fuzzy. It didn't help that Joe, who must've been on his way to the Labs anyway, considering how quickly he arrived, had made it a point to send him as many of his famous "I told you so" looks as possible.

Yet, as far as Barry was concerned, things made less sense than they had before his little run in with the man in question. None of the cameras picked anything up outside, and the Lab's cameras had been fried by whatever caused the lights to flicker. Barry was secretly relieved about that, not wanting anyone, especially Joe, to see his interactions with the escaped inmate.

"Still, nothing," Joe grumbled as he re-entered the storage room before turning his attentions to Barry. "What were you thinking?"

"Better me than anyone else," Barry replied tiredly.

"Without…" Joe started rather loudly, but when one of the techs looked over at them he stepped closer and lowered his voice. "Without the damn suit?"

"I'm more than just the damn suit," Barry snapped, unable to keep the irritation out of his voice at remembering the anger he felt rolling off his nemesis while he shouted similar words at him.

He wasn't sure why it had irritated him so much. He knew what Joe meant, but with everything that just transpired it was impossible to completely rein himself in.

"Whoa," Joe suddenly looked concerned at Barry's uncharacteristic response. "I didn't mean it like that, Bar."

"I know," Barry sighed feeling stupid for his outburst and as though he was going crazy.

The memory of Snart’s anger and fear was enough without the way his eyes closed at Barry's touch, or the determination he displayed before he clocked Barry. He felt like he needed to get some of it off his chest before his head exploded, and while Joe wasn't his number one choice he knew he should probably fill him in on, at least some of it. Also he sent Sister Cold with Iris.

"It's just- there's something else going on here, Joe," Barry was so tired, which wasn't helping with his confusion, but he tried to keep his voice firm as he continued quickly and a little disjointedly. "I don't think Len broke out to kill- The Flash. If he had he would've done it- or at least tried, and when I was talking to him he was angry sure, but seemed angrier I hadn't…"

"Stop right there, son," Joe cut in and motioned for Barry to follow him out of the room, most likely away from prying ears.

Barry was suddenly all the more flustered. He hadn't realize until Joe interrupted he was about to talk in first person as The Flash. He followed, finally fully grasping how muddled he really was. No one else, save Iris, would have noticed the warning and anger that tinged Joe's voice Barry had. He grew up with Joe and he knew his foster father. Barry kicked himself as his mind raced thinking of the best way to explain it all. He'd purposely left out any personal feelings on the subject up until now, but now it was out there and Lisa was with Iris. Barry needed Joe to understand, which admittedly was not something he thought was even a remote possibility.

Especially with the way Joe turned on him once they were far enough away.

"Since when is Leonard Snart, Captain Cold, Len to you, Barry?" Joe asked making very little effort to conceal his anger.

Barry was taken aback by the question, because it was not what he had been planning to have to explain at all. Unbidden the memory of Captain Cold looking up at him after he'd taken the Cold Gun and asked his question before receiving an answer he hadn't expected. When that single tear had slid down the other man's cheek- that was the moment he'd become Len. More than just Captain Cold, anyway. That was the moment Barry saw the man behind the mask, or goggles as it were. The man Lisa Snart had swallowed her pride for. Asked for their help- all but begged them to save. It haunted Barry ever since.

"It doesn't matter what I call him," Barry said as he pushed the disturbing image away. "What matters is there's something else going on here Joe. None of this makes sense."

"It absolutely matters," Joe countered causing Barry's already frazzled nerves to spike. "You don't have the best judgement when it comes to Snart, and for some god forsaken reason you're putting yourself in danger because you believe he's good. I told you, I love that about you, Bar, but the man you think is gonna change his spots just broke out of prison, leaving behind a pretty clear message stating his intentions, in blood none the less. The he broke into STAR Labs, which you own, and knocked you out! Which now that I'm thinking about it, how the hell did he get the jump on you?"

"Joe," Barry tried to keep his own irritation out of his voice, because if he was right they were dealing with something much bigger than Captain Cold trying to kill The Flash.

He didn't have answers for all of Joe's questions, but he thought he had some, so he went with answering what he could while putting his theories out there.

"First of all, it doesn't matter, because this isn't about Leonard Snart and me, or even Captain Cold and the Flash," Joe opened his mouth to protest, or probably demand to know since when there was a them for this to be about, but Barry held up his hand.

He needed to get this out, plus when he talked things out it usually helped him organize his thoughts. Most of all though, he really didn't want to hear Joe rant about Captain Cold with the image his brain conjured of its own accord in the forefront of his mind.

"I understand why you don't trust him, but right now I do. Yes, Joe I am fully aware he just knocked me out, but that’s part of it. He knocked me out, Joe. Also, he didn't break out of Iron Heights alone. Patty was right. He was in the Meta-Wing, so powers shouldn't have worked. Maybe it wasn't a Meta at all, but right now I can think of one Meta whose defied most of what we thought we knew about Metas. Some-thing that would be interested in making friends with The Flash's most publicized nemesis."

"Zoom," Joe's sudden understanding left his voice barely above a whisper, and while Barry was sort of just puzzling it together now, he was absolutely convinced he was right. He gave Joe a firm nod.

"L… Snart said he made sure I got his message," Barry continued speaking his thoughts aloud and trying not to cringe at the memory of the bloody bandage the other man had held up as proof. "That's why the blood- he wanted to make sure a CSI was called in. A message seemingly threatening The Flash would ensure I would get called, because you would get called…"

"Seemingly threatening?" Joe questioned with obvious skepticism when Barry trailed off. "It sounded like a pretty straight forward threat to me."

"No," Barry was busy thinking and searching his memory. He didn't even bother to look up at Joe. "Live fast, die young… it's what he said to me when Lisa first came to us and I found him with Lewis- Iris said it was a message for me, and only me…"

"Iris?" Joe's couldn't mask his surprised. "You talked to Iris about this?"

"Yea, she said if Leonard left a message, it was for me and no one else. I think she was right." Barry started pacing as his mind continued to race. "He only worked with Lewis because Lisa was in danger- against his will. I think that's what the first part means. Whatever he's doing it's not because he wants to."

"That doesn't mean he won't kill you Bar. It's not like he hasn't tried before."

"He's not gonna kill me, Joe. If he wanted to, he could have already, instead, he just knocked me out," Barry looked up for the first time since the pieces began to fall into place. "There were two parts to the message. The second part was a warning, not a threat. He was so mad I was here…"

"Because you were gonna stop him from stealing the Cold Gun," Joe interjected.

"Again, no," Barry fought an irritated sigh at the skepticism he found in his foster father's eyes and voice. "I don't think so, he was mad because I didn't run. He was mad because I wasn't wearing my suit. He said it was insulting, but he never made a move towards me. Even before he knew I didn't have it on. He never even pointed the stupid Cold Gun at me…"

"Snart loves theatrics. He probably had it all planed out and the idea of killing The Flash without his suit on ruined it." Joe dismissed his explanation as he trailed off once again thinking of the way Captain Cold lost his cool.

Barry couldn't forget the way he'd looked so determined when Barry reminded Len he owed him. Barry's chest ached at the memory of the way the other man's eyes closed when Barry reminded him there was another way, like he wanted it- but just couldn't.

"No," Barry said again firmly. "If Lisa was in danger theatrics wouldn't matter, even if he does owe me, or used to before, I locked him away for making sure she was safe forever…"

"You locked him away because he killed his father right in front of you," Joe countered in a way that made Barry immediately regret speaking his thoughts aloud. "If it's not theatrics, and if someone's forcing him to do this against his will- threatening his sister, Bar…"

Barry thought for a moment and the fuzziness he'd managed to push away as the pieces came together was back. Joe had trailed off unable to make sense of this mess himself, and even as angry and worried as he was at and about Barry, he knew Joe understood protecting one's family. If Lisa was safe, which she was, then why? Barry knew, Snart knew he wouldn't lie about that, but then why didn't he just come with him? Lisa's insistence that there was someone else Lenny would do anything for was puzzling too, but something he didn't want to get into with Joe right now, or probably ever.

Either way, Barry was sure Len was going to, or at least seriously considering it, before the lights flickered.

"He wasn't going to hurt me, until the lights started flickering, anyway. He was going to come with me," Barry couldn't think of motives anymore, because it was all so confusing and if he was being honest it made his chest ache uncomfortably, so he decided to get to what was probably going to be a worse part. "I don't know all of what's going on, it may not make sense just yet, but at least Lisa's safe, so that won't be a factor."

"How do you know?"

"Because I sent her with the rest of Team Flash. Somewhere away from here so they would all be safe until I can figure this out," Barry's voice wasn't as strong as he would've liked, sure Joe would already know Iris was with the rest of them.

"You what?" Joe's anger flared and Barry sort of stepped back, it wasn't like Joe had ever laid a hand on him or Iris, but if Barry believed as Joe believed he would be furious, beyond furious. "You sent that… that criminal with… what the hell were you thinking!"

"I was thinking I didn't want to give whoever was behind this whole thing anymore ammo than they already apparently have," Barry had to fight to keep his own voice calm.

"If there's anyone behind it! That's a big if, Barry!"

Joe was almost shouting. A tech poked his head down the hallway causing him to try and rein himself in as he pulled out his phone and walked away. Barry followed knowing he was calling Iris to demand she come home right this instant, and while he wasn't 100% sure how that conversation was going to go, he wasn't one to avoid responsibility for anything. Even if that anything was making what his foster father thought was a stupid decision, beside he had a feeling Iris was gonna be on his side, and hopefully be able to talk some sense into Joe.

The conversation wasn't lengthy and Joe seemed to be unable to get a word in edge wise after his "Get your butt home this instant!" Barry couldn't make out what Iris was shouting back, but he was grateful for whatever it was. Even with so many unknowns he knew in his heart he made the right decision. His head was a whole different story. That part of him was a mess.

Len had pointed that out, about Barry following his feelings, and it had hurt. But as to the why, Barry wasn't sure. It did make him second guess himself. During their first go around Len had used that particular "flaw" against him. Barry had an inherent need to save people. He cared too much. He let his emotions get in the way of logic. They were all things he knew about himself, and things Captain Cold wouldn't hesitate to use against him for personal gain.

Maybe it was just as Len had said. Lewis using Lisa to make him do something against his will had Barry convinced he was better than he was. That he had a heart and a conscious. That Len was more than just some cold hearted meticulous criminal. That was just as possible as anything else running through his head.

Still, as stupid and naïve as it sounded, Barry didn't feel like that was the case, then again, how many times had Barry been wrong before?

Every time he felt like he might be getting to the root of it, more questions popped up. Joe was going to be pissed at him for a while, which he wasn't happy about, but he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for it. Even if this was all just a carefully calculated ploy by Captain Cold, Barry was going to make sure everyone, including Lisa, remained safe while he figured that out for himself. That was just part of who he was, and lately he felt as though he was losing that part of himself.

An irritated huff and a glare Barry couldn't see but feel told him Joe had hung up with Iris, or more likely Iris had hung up on Joe. Barry didn't want to deal with that right now along with everything else. His irritation coupled with his inability to forget what Len looked like the night Barry's extended funk had begun had him feeling as though he needed to escape. He called over his shoulder to Joe he'd get in touch when he knew something, and without waiting for a reply zipped upstairs to get his stupid suit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Restless and agitated, Barry felt like he should be doing something, anything, but had no idea where to start. He wanted to search every nook and cranny for Snart and shake him till he told him what was going on. The thought to somehow go and find Zoom or maybe call him out to end this charade crossed his mine more than once, but he didn't even know how to do that, so he quickly changed and just started to run.

He still felt so desperate and so useless. Not even running until everything was nothing but a blur was helping. When he started he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing, but when he finally stopped he let out a frustrated scream. His feet carried him, of their own accord, to where the confusion had truly begun.

It was their spot, well, what Barry thought of as their spot. The place in the woods where they'd first made their deal. He doubted Snart even remembered where it was. That thought made his chest ache in a way that had nothing to do with the fact he'd just run more than a marathon in a fraction of the time it usually took.

Whatever he felt or thought, was obviously skewed for reasons he'd spent a lot of time and effort ignoring. Whether Joe was right or wrong, whether he was right or wrong, Barry knew he wouldn't be of any use until he allowed himself to accept something he had refused to think about let alone believe. Barry forced himself to take a seat and recall in full the moment when it all changed.

Looking back on it now, it didn't seem as monumental a moment as it proved to be, though he was suddenly sure it had been always headed that way.

Since the night he'd rushed Captain Cold into the middle of the woods to threaten him, to yell at him- if Barry was being honest he was so tempted to just tear that smug asshole a new one without wasting his breath on words he was sure would fall on deaf ears. Yet, that's not what happened. The other man had agreed to a deal of sorts. One that greatly benefitted him, yes, but it had been too easy for it not to be something Cold wanted anyway. He was still a smug asshole, but Barry felt like he might be more than that.

Admittedly the thing with the Meta's had not only enraged but hurt him beyond what he allowed anyone else to see. That was still sort of a sore subject. Barry thought he'd learned his lesson. Snart was a criminal, he had an opportunity, and took it. The whole thing seemed to settle any- conflicting feelings he possessed for the criminal master mind. Then Lisa had shown up at Jitters…

Barry was going to help regardless, but he was still bitter so he dragged it out a bit making Lisa explain. After his first run in with Snart he'd been confused and hurt, but he found his determination once he saw Lisa's scars. Then, especially when the body turned up with its head blown off. He realized what was going on, a little late too, and it terrified him.

Lewis Snart was the most despicable human being Barry ever had the misfortune to run across. He put a fucking bomb in his own daughter. Barry remembered bile had crawled up into his throat as horrible scenarios about their childhood had flashed through his head. He pushed it away, if only long enough to do what he had to: to make sure everyone was safe.

Lewis didn't so much as blink when he'd shot Barry, and while he wasn't sure Len knew he could catch bullets, just like he wasn't sure Len knew he would survive the blast from the cold gun- the depth of sorrow in Len's voice as he apologized knotted Barry’s insides.

When it was all said and done, Lewis lying dead at his feet, Len kneeling beside him, Barry had been torn as to what he should do. He didn't understand how or why Snart could do something like that. Lisa was safe. Len's answer was not what he'd been expecting and the slight tremor in the other man's voice had his chest aching, but it was nothing compared to when Len looked up at him.

In that moment Leonard Snart, Captain Cold, had become Len in Barry's eyes. Those gorgeous icy blues were pools with depths he'd never thought possible. They swirled with pain, disgust, fear, guilt, anguish, accomplishment, and a thousand other things Barry couldn't identify. A tear had escaped and slid down the other man's cheek, which had Barry’s heart breaking. Suddenly the question "why did you do that," seemed so wrong-- "I'm sorry you had to do that," felt so much more appropriate. Still, Barry never said it, Snart spoke first...

"It's okay," his voice was barely more than a whisper, but it held all the emotions that stormed in his eyes. "Now, It's gonna be okay."

Barry almost responded, but he got the feeling that while Snart was looking at him, he wasn't seeing him. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and Barry finally saw just how shattered Len’s soul was. His own eyes burned as the man at his feet continued to look at him without really seeing.

Snart was in another time, another place. His monster didn't live in his closet or under his bed, but down the hall. His monster couldn't be kept away by night lights and quiet whispered encouragements after terrifying nightmares…

Barry had reached out unable to help himself when the other man started rocking slightly. He could hear the pounding of footsteps echoing down the hall. Gently, he laid a hand on Len's shoulder and gave it what he hoped was a comforting squeeze. Still, Barry was at a loss. Len seemed to come back into himself then, but his mask didn't reappear. Instead, he seemed to be begging for forgiveness; from Barry, from god, from his sister?

Barry didn't know, but he never wanted to comfort someone so much in his entire life.

The urge to wrap the broken man at his feet in his arms and whisk him away, holding him tight, and never let go, was almost overwhelming. Another single tear slid down his cheek, and Barry recognized his own were falling as well. The commotion of the arriving officers was closer now, and Barry had to make a choice. He glanced back at the door never having felt so torn in his life, except for when he'd gone back and couldn't save his mom- but he could save Len…

"One for me, one for Lisa," Lenny had said quietly when the racket was just outside the door causing Barry to find his eyes again as he brushed away the second tear that had been glistening on his cheek. "It's more than he deserved."

Barry hesitated as his heart broke farther, if it was possible. Suddenly when he was no longer looking at Len, but Captain Cold. He'd missed his moment. He could have saved him, but he didn't- it haunted him every waking moment since.


	5. Chapter 5

It was after mid night by the time Barry made his way to Coast City. For hours on end he'd frantically searched every nook and cranny of Central and its outskirts looking for any sign of Len or even Zoom. The same places over and over again, too. With every lap his frustrations grew. He'd done everything and anything he could think of. He'd zipped into Saint's and Sinner's in full costume only pausing long enough to demand to know Snart's whereabouts. He broke down the front door of every safe house he knew of. Barry caused as much commotion as he possibly could, letting everyone know he was looking for Snart, while not exactly hiding his own movements.

There was no way whoever was behind it all wouldn't have some idea how to find him. He also made sure to let all his anger and frustration show. He held nothing of it back so his frantic searching wouldn't bring anymore heat down on the man he was trying to save.

He'd been praying Snart would come for him, or even Zoom, somebody, but his prayers had not been answered.

Barry was beyond exhausted, hungry, worried, scared, angry, but more than anything else desperate. He needed to find Len; to see him, hear him, touch him, make sure he was okay. Protect him. For all of his confusion and uncertainty he would gladly take more than one blast from the Cold Gun if it meant getting any one of those things.

A frustrated sigh escaped him as his phone vibrated against his flesh. Normally, he didn't carry it in his Flash suit, but these were extenuating circumstances. So far he'd gotten two calls from Joe, one of which he answered, the other he sent to voice mail, because it came in right after he'd hung up on him, and a text from Cisco saying they'd made it to Coast City with the address he was heading to now.

He had no more answers than he'd had the last time he'd talked to him, but he answered hoping Cisco would have some for him.

"Please tell me you have something," it came out as more of a tired plea than anything, but he couldn't worry about that now.

"If by something, you mean a freaking problem, then I've definitely got something," Cisco replied irritably. "Also a migraine."

"What?" Barry's body tensed, coiled to take off again, still exhausted yet alert, but his voice held the confusion he felt when Cisco's words didn't coincide with his tone. "What's wrong?"

"You have a visitor that refuses to leave until he speaks with you," Cisco huffed causing Barry's stomach to do a little flip.

"Snart's there?"

"No," Barry's heart sank. "His associate, HeatWave, who refuses to talk until he sees you."

"Heat Wave? Is everyone okay?"

"Yes, HeatWave," Cisco confirmed, and Barry's heart raced along with his mind, which had flipped back to being convinced he'd been wrong about this whole thing, "and everyone's okay, for now. He's got a message for you from Cold and if you don't get here soon Sister Cold's gonna have a conniption, because he won't tell her anything till you get here. Says he's got orders."

"I'm on my way."

Barry didn't even wait for a reply before he tucked his phone away and took off again with renewed purpose. This could be a disaster, it was probably going to be a disaster, but Barry couldn't help the hope the bloomed in his chest. He might finally be getting some answers, and even the fact it was HeatWave he was going to be getting them from didn't change that he desperately needed them.

When he fazed through the front door of the small house, which he found out later happened to be one of the Snart's many safe houses, and incidentally why it had been so easy for Mick to find them, he was greeted with a scene he had not imagined in his wildest dreams. The entire way he'd been imagining a tense standoff with Team Flash on one side, HeatWave with his weapon on the other and Lisa, if she wasn't still tethered to Cisco, in the middle threatening everyone. That, however, is not what he found.

Barry was too shocked to say or do anything for an extended moment as his jaw dropped and his eyes widened at what he actually found. Professor Stein, Jax and Jay were sitting at the small dining room table seemingly working on a puzzle of some sort. Iris was sitting on a frumpy couch with her feet tucked under her and Lisa's head cradled in her lap. Their wrists were tethered together by what he assumed was Professor Stein's tie. Despite looking more relaxed than he'd anticipated with Iris's hand absent mindedly carding through her long locks Lisa was still glaring at Mick.

Mick was sitting in an old looking, but seemingly sturdy chair, apparently deep in thought as he kept his eyes on Professor Stein and Jax with his head tilted to one side like a curious puppy. It wasn't so much the shock of seeing HeatWave looking anything less than manic and or murderous, though that was some of it, but more so the fact he was handcuffed to the chair with Caitlin sitting cross legged on the floor nearby. She didn't look comfortable or at ease, but she didn't look terrified or pissed either. In fact, the only one that looked in any way out of sorts aside from Lisa glaring was Cisco.

"Thank god!" Cisco stopped pacing when he caught sight of him. "Bro, make him leave."

"Answers, both of you, now," Lisa snapped glaring at Barry now too sitting bolt upright as soon as his presence registered.

"What the…" Barry's brain was still trying to catch up, his body still tense, and his confusion mounted when Lisa went to push to her feet and Iris grabbed her and pulled her back into her chest.

He was sure Lisa could break Iris's hold if she wanted to, but then Iris's grip tightened before she whispered something in the other woman's ear causing Lisa to at least stop trying to get on her feet if not relax a little.

"Answers," Lisa demanded after nodding curtly, which Barry assumed was in response to Iris.

"I'm sorry Lisa- I couldn't…" Barry let himself relax a little too when he saw World War III wasn't about to break out, but had no idea how to tell this woman he'd failed to help the one person she loved most in the world. The guilt was not something he anticipated either and it cause him to have to force himself to keep going. "When I got to the Labs, I tried to get him to come with me, he was going to, but then the lights flickered and he knocked me out. When I woke up he was gone- I couldn't find him again. I tried, Lisa."

"There's no finding him, if he doesn't want it," Mick grunted.

"You saw him?" Lisa asked ignoring Mick as her eyes narrowed farther, though fear and desperation mingled with her anger. "You were with him, you saw him, and you can't tell me anything?"

"Lise, he's trying…" Caitlin said softly and the gentleness in her voice surprised him though it probably shouldn't have.

"You need to stop tryin' Flash," Mick cut Caitlin off, apparently ready to deliver his message now that Barry was present. "Len don't need you making a bigger mess a things. He's putting a plan together, and you need to back off like he told you."

"Back off," Barry turned on Mick now a little angry himself.

Snart hadn't come right out and told Barry to back off per se.Not that he would've listened if he had, because he suddenly knew without a doubt Len was in trouble. All his nagging doubts were gone and he was sure even with the cowl on they could all see it in his eyes. Len wouldn't have sent a known associate to where his sister was hiding if it wasn't necessary. Zoom, oh god, he had to get back out there right now and find him before it was too late.

"Don't be an idiot," Mick's gruff voice reached him as Barry's muscles coiled ready to bolt.

Mick looked like he was going to say more but another voice joined the conversation.

"I'm afraid that particular skill is not in The Flash's arsenal," Harry came from down the hall.

"What are you doing here?" Barry felt a twinge of guilt realizing he hadn't told Cisco to get Harry too, who was most likely in just as much if not more danger than the rest of them, but his stomach still turned at the sight of him.

"Trying to keep you from acting like an idiot," Harry responded casually. "Which unfortunately has already been an utter, epic failure considering you've spent the last 12 hours showing Zoom just how well he'd chosen his leverage."

"Explain yourself or shut up, Harry," Cisco snapped before Barry could reply.

Apparently, they were all on the same page as to who was responsible, and Cisco still wasn't over the fact Harry's doppelganger killed him in an alternate time line.

"Laymen's terms? Alright I'll break it down for you," Harry didn't seem bothered by Cisco in the least. "You think Zoom took Captain Cold why exactly?"

"So he would kill B… The Flash for him," Caitlin answered quickly trying to prevent the tension from increasing. "Just like he did with the Metas."

"No," Harry's demeanor was less rough when he talked to Caitlin, but it didn't stop him using a condescending tone when he turned to address Cisco and Barry who were standing next to one another by the door. "This is why I'm here, Flash. I know Zoom. Dr. Snow's theory makes sense, and I'm assuming that's the same conclusion all of you, with the exception of Ms. Snart and if I'm not mistaken, Ms. West, came to as well, but the rest of you are wrong."

"Harrison, spit it out," Jay growled suddenly beside Barry with Jax and Professor Stein on his far side.

"Oh my," Professor Stein said almost to himself as realization dawned on him. "How do we get him back?"

"That would be why I brought this," Harry held up a dart and Professor Stein nodded thoughtfully, but no one had explained a damn thing and Barry was already tired and angry.

"Care to share with the rest of the class, guys?" Jax asked reaching around Jay to grab Barry's elbow trying to offer comfort.

"Love," Lisa huffed irritably. "And you're supposed to be geniuses?"

"I… no… I… That's not… Len doesn't," Barry began to sputter after a somewhat pregnant pause flushing as red as his suit.

There were way more important things to worry about now, but when everyone else's surprise only last a split second before they all nodded in sudden understanding he felt a strong need to deny it. The weight on his shoulders suddenly felt too heavy to remain upright and he stumbled back against the door.

"He needs to eat," Caitlin was on her feet immediately. "Have you eaten at all today?"

Barry shook his head because he hadn't, but that's not what was wrong with him. Even as he tried to tell himself that's what it was, and that's why he suddenly couldn't breathe, he knew it had nothing to do with that.

All day, even as he tried to accept it, knowing there was no reason to even try to deny it anymore, he hadn't really. Not his own feelings, and certainly never entertained the thought that Len felt the same way. Not when he'd spent so much time and energy convincing himself that it wasn't- couldn't be true- because it was impossible. Yet, the impossible was out there, especially in Central City as of late.

Caitlin shoved one of her calorie bars at him and suddenly, all three women, Iris and Lisa included, had made their way over to him, encouraging him to breathe. He forced himself to get his shit together, when Iris reminded him this wasn't the time for this, and he could freak out later, as Caitlin, though gently, was trying to forced feed him when it became apparent he was not going to have a full blown panic attack. At least to her, because Barry wasn't completely sure about that, even when his breathing evened out somewhat.

"You really are just as clueless as Lenny," Lisa shook her head incredulously when he finally managed to get somewhat of a grip on himself.

He took a moment and slid down the wall still feeling as though he needed to take a seat. Everyone he loved he put in danger, because of who he was- what he was. He felt so helpless. Barry was more afraid now than he'd been before. It suddenly felt like the stakes were much higher. Not that they weren't high before, but now that everyone knew and they were staring at him with such pity- it felt so real. That wasn't even factoring in the fact that Lisa claimed Len felt the same way about him. 

Barry couldn't go there right now. He couldn't even take the time to reorient himself with any of this. He just needed to get him back.

"How… how do we get him back?"

Barry noticed everyone in the room including Mick relaxed when he spoke, reassured he'd managed to get a hold of himself, but especially Lisa.

"We need a plan," Harry replied. "No more pounding your chest and kicking in doors." Barry hung his head at that, but he hadn't known, he still couldn't believe it. "If we're lucky, we can play that in our favor. Zoom might think you've changed your tune since the incident at the Labs, but your feelings good or bad, are obviously strong. He still needs Snart to manipulate you, which is good. To draw you out most likely- He's not going to want anyone else to take what he would consider the honor of murdering you." 

Barry along with a few of the others swallowed hard. 

"Essentially Snart is bait, so while you are quite an idiot, he will try to use your anger and your hurt the same way he tried to use your love."

"We need to get him back now," Lisa interjected, not really caring about the why just the how.

"What… what was his message?" Barry asked Mick as worse case scenarios ran through his mind, hoping for something, anything that could help them.

"And I quote, 'Tell him to stop looking for me, to back off. Tell him to stop being an idiot. I'm working on a plan,' end quote," Mick replied getting the same reaction from almost everyone, which was gaping, with the exception of a few. One of which was Lisa who suddenly looked murderous.

"You couldn't tell me that? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Mick?"

"That was The Flash's message, not yours. I got my orders," Mick seemed very unconcerned with Lisa's anger, apparently used to it. "Now that, that's done, yours was, 'For once in your life do what I ask and stay put," end quote. That was to be delivered after the first one. You can un-cuff me now."

"I am going to fucking…" Lisa looked livid causing Barry to attempt to get to his feet, but a wave of dizziness had him falling back. Luckily, Iris managed to get a good grip before she even finished the sentence.

"You have to eat," Caitlin admonished as both her and Cisco each grabbed a hold of one of his arms.

"I will," Barry replied trying to steady himself. "We need to come up with a plan, though."

"No time, bro," Cisco suddenly sounded frightened.

"What?"

"We gotta move now," Cisco shot a panicked look over at Lisa, and Barry realized he must've seen something when he grabbed him. "I didn't see Zoom, just Cold and I think Weather Wizard. There were others… they're here. In Coast City, man."

"Where?"

Barry had no idea what he was going to do when he got there, he just knew he needed to get there.

"You have to eat!" Caitlin was probably right, but he wasn't worried about passing out and simply stuffed the rest of the bar in his mouth.

"We need a plan," Harry cut in as Jax ran over to one of the bags to grab the splicer. "You're playing right into his hands."

"It doesn't matter. There's no time," Barry argued. "If I don't go, Zoom will kill him."

"We don't know that he will," Harry countered. "He's luring you out there, because he knows you're weak. You're being and idiot and you're going to get yourself killed."

"We don't know that he won't!" Barry shouted as the others, despite their own reservations began scrambling around and pulling equipment from their bags. "I'm not taking that chance!"

There was a cracking sound that drew everyone's attention and they turned to find Mick on his feet having seemingly easily freed himself from the chair with the handcuffs dangling from his wrist.

"There's no time," Cisco interrupted after a split second pause coming back out from the kitchen where Caitlin and Jay were laying out equipment and tossing Mick his gun. "They're at the park. There's people everywhere. You gotta move now!"

"Not you," Barry stopped Lisa from going to retrieve her own weapon after she untethered herself from Iris. "You stay here," Barry said firmly and when Lisa opened her mouth to argue he squeezed her shoulder gently and let his voice soften. "I'll bring him back, I promise."

"You better come back too," she replied after she gave him a reluctant nod, and he felt momentary relief. "Lenny's insufferable when he's mopey."

Barry wasn't sure what made him do it but he pulled Lisa into a quick hug before Mick cut in after Cisco shoved one of their communicators in his ear.

"It's a wonder you guys get anything done," Mick growled impatiently powering up his Heat Gun.

"You're going?" Caitlin asked a little incredulously from the kitchen.

"Never said what to do after I delivered the messages," Mick shrugged before marching out the door followed by F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M, who merged as soon as they were clear of the doorway. "Now, that's what I'm fucking talking about!"

Barry would have smiled at the excitement in HeatWaves voice after the telltale whoosh of F.I.R.E.S.T.O.R.M.S take off if he wasn't so terrified. He took a split second more to kiss both Lisa and Iris foreheads before pushing Lisa into Iris's arms, who nodded as a promise to make sure the other woman stayed put.

Harry was right behind him with something that looked similar to a sniper riffle. Cisco darted into the kitchen to help Caitlin and Jay set up what little portable equipment they'd been able to pack during their hasty exit. Harry climbed on the back of Mick's motor cycle as the engine revved seemingly displaying Mick's impatience, before they pealed out in the direction of the park with Cisco already barking directions into the comms.

Just before he flashed away, to do what felt like one of the most important things he'd ever do in his life, Barry did something he hadn't done in a very long time. He scrunched his eyes shut and prayed to his mom with everything he had that this time he wouldn't be too late.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys! So sorry, I've been crazy busy. Nursing school is a lot of work, plus actual work, and I sort of lost heart because this was my first fic for the fandom and you can totally tell- BUT I still possess a preference for Icicling, promise! lol. I have the next few chapters outlined, so hopefully it won't take as long to get them out. Well, it definitely won't take a freaking year. shheeeesh! I've edited some of the first few chapters and prolly have to go over it again lols, and while the Zoom story line totally made sense... I wanna change it- because reasons. Thanks for being supportive through it all. You guys are the bestest! Lotsa love! ~Loretta~

 

Barry’s heart and stomach were in his throat for what felt like the eternity it took to reach the park. Cisco’s insistence that there were civilians there, in danger, was something he hadn’t really thought too much about aside from it adding to the urgency of the situation. Incredibly, despite the ungodly hour, there were, in fact, hundreds of civilians, all of them in danger. An already nearly impossible situation suddenly felt somehow even more so.

Menacing storm clouds raged and sparked with electricity overhead and terrified shrieks emanated from the cowering figures who seemed to think pulling their sleeping bags up to their chins or over their heads would somehow protect them from the hell that was about to rain down on them and their unsuspecting city. Coast City was a city, a rather large one, but it didn’t have the additional flair of Central and Star with their Metas and Doomsday plots.

Barry’s anger caused his adrenaline to spike as the speed force caused every molecule in his body to vibrate, but he was afraid nothing would be enough.

“Cisco!” he shouted into the coms, his desperation evident.

“It’s some sort of sleep out,” Cisco shouted back answering his unasked question. “They’re raising money for homeless shelters. They do it every year. Zoom must’ve known somehow…”

“If it is Zoom,” Jay interjected a bit nervously. “How do we know…”

“Oh, it’s Zoom,” Harry countered, but Cisco ignored them both.

“I contacted the local PD, but there’s not much they can do even if they make it in time. You have to stop them.”

There was a desperate edge in his voice that made Barry think he saw something he wasn’t sharing. The panic that gripped him was very real in the worse way possible. Not only might he fail to save Len, but hundreds of others whose only crime was trying to make the world a better place. His lightning sparked almost like an engine revving, but his feet seemed glued in place as he scanned his surroundings in search of his targets, or target: Len. 

“Goddamnit, Pyro!” Harry’s furious voice suddenly echoed over the coms. “Higher ground means higher GROUND! As in a vantage point! Not use the first ramp-like structure you happen to glimpse to leave the earth’s surface!”

“I know what higher ground means, Dr. Dick,” Mick snarled back. “We don’t have time for your petty traffic laws if we want both Snart and your precious Flash in one piece.”

“My petty traffic laws?” Harry demanded incredulously. “This isn’t even my earth!”

“You don’t have traffic laws on your earth?” Mick asked suddenly very curious.

“What? Of course, we have…”

“Guys!” Caitlin interjected exasperatedly. “Serious situation here.”

“Also, I’m pretty sure every earth has traffic laws,” Jay added.

“You’ve been to all the earths?” Jax asked sounding as interested as Mick.

“Well, no, but…”

“Knock it off!” Lisa shouted directly into the coms, before Barry could. “You can have this conversation when my brother’s life is not dependent on you assholes.”

“Lisa!” Iris chastised in the background, but Barry couldn’t hear the rest, because someone else called out to him drawing his attention to the far side of the park.

Suddenly a huge bolt of lightning lit up the night immediately followed by a loud crack of thunder drowning out everything else. Barry snapped out of it, somehow managing to dodge it at the last second. There were shrieks from the innocent civilians and the coms were bombarded with indecipherable curses and exclamations. He popped quickly to his feet, glancing back at the crater that now occupied the space he’d just vacated, then back at the sky. 

“Scarlet, Scarlet, Scarlet,” Len’s sardonic tone reached him through all the rest, though it seemed to echo all around him, so he couldn’t pin point a location. “We knew you’d come.”

“Len,” he whispered mostly to himself.

He didn’t know if it was because the sound of Len’s voice did things to his heart he didn’t know were possible, or if it was because the same voice he’d desired to hear more than anything for the past day or so had confirmed that he had indeed led his friends into a trap. As a sudden unnatural fog rolled in he decided he could kick himself later. Hundreds of lives, not just those of friends and family were depending on him. Not just Len, still, he squinted in vein regardless, in the hopes of catching a glimpse. 

“Told you, a trap” Harry said unnecessarily anyway.

“Shut up, Harry,” Cisco snapped.

“Can you see them?’ Caitlin asked nervously.

“I’m afraid not,” Stein replied in Jax’s voice. Barry could hardly make out FIRESTORM as they circled the park. “Weather Wizard, I presume.”

“You think?” HeatWave snapped as Barry made out the faint revving of a motorcycle engine in the distance, which was immediately drowned out by a real explosion.

“The Trickster,” Cisco spat disgustedly as the terrified screams of civilians echoed over the coms.

“Maybe we should regroup,” Jay suggested.

“No!” was the outraged and chorused response.

“We leave, he kills them all,” Harry’s words ended any serious arguments that might have arisen.

“He’ll kill them all anyway,” Jay replied, though without any real contradiction in his tone.

“We have to try,” Barry said firmly getting his feet under him. “I’m gonna try and clear the fog.”

He began making a windmill motion with his arms. A mixture of anxiety and relief slammed into him as the fog began to clear, but not nearly enough.

“I’m open to suggestions!”

“We’re on the south side,” Harry updated them, “I can’t get a clear shot. Too many people.”

“Tell those morons to scram,” Mick suggested aggressively.

“I’m sure they would if they could, HeatWave!” Cisco snarked back, but the real bark wasn’t there, and Barry’s foreboding grew. “Flash, can you get them out?”

“Too many,” Harry answered for him, “and it’s probably what Zoom’s waiting for.”

“We can’t just leave them vulnerable,” Barry increased his efforts to increase visibility.

“It’s too dangerous,” it was Caitlin now. “Cold used the same tactic when he stole the diamond, and we didn’t think to pack LED’s, or the vacuum.”

“I don’t think Zoom’s gonna fall for the whole ‘killer vacuum cleaner’ thing anyway,” Iris added quickly and dismissively, yet Barry’s stomach still sank uncomfortably at the reminder, though he was suddenly certain Snart hadn’t really fell for it in the first place anyway.

“We have to find a way to get those people out of there,” Caitlin asserted but her tone held the helplessness he knew they were all feeling.

“Collateral Damage is to be expected,” Harry’s tone was hard and determined. “It’s unavoidable.”

“Collateral Damage?” Jay scoffed furiously. “You mean killing innocent civilians? Hundreds of innocent civilians!”

“This is war Garrick!” Harry matched his fury. “I know you’re a coward, but not only does this world hang in balance, so does our own, and however other many there are in the Multiverse. You can’t stomach it, take your stupid helmet and go home.”  

“Ideas, guys!” Barry called over the coms his helplessness growing with each passing second the fog refused to disperse. “Real ones! We don’t have time for this! We need to do something!”

“Fine,” Barry thought he heard Mick mutter over the coms, then again that could have been because the next thing he heard was a motorcycle engine revving, then it was getting closer.

“Mr. Rory!” Stein yelled in Jax voice. “I don’t think…”

“It’s all you do,” Mick interjected and Barry felt his heart sink.

“Mick! No!” Barry shouted, but it was too late.

Heatwave and his motorcycle came crashing through a thicket on the far right of the field which seemed to burst into flames on impact. The screams of the innocent by-standers echoed all around and in more than just the coms. There was suddenly panic and chaos, and there was nothing Barry could do. He couldn’t see, it was hard to breath, but he had to do something. Mick’s crazy ass was going to get them all killed.

“This way! Over here!” Barry shouted waving his arms furiously, emitting sparks in the hopes they would act like a beacon of sorts. There was no danger the way he’d come as far as he knew and Mick’s little improvisation had given them the courage to get up and a least run. “Over here! This way! FIRESTORM keep an eye out!”

“Local PD’s on their way Barry, two blocks!” Cisco shouted.

“I see them!” Jax shouted excitedly. “I see them!”

“Zoom?” Harry asked sharply. “Do you have a visual on Zoom?”

FIRESTORMS response was lost when Barry whipped his head around at realizing what Jax had meant. His arms abruptly stopped wind milling as did his heart. The impossibly thick fog began to ebb and as it did Barry realized whatever he’d thought Mick was doing, he’d been wrong. The park was no longer just in chaos, it was in flames too. More accurately himself along with a gleeful Mick were encircled in fire as well as a half a dozen very dangerous Meta’s. His chest constricted. His knees felt weak. Len emerged as if in slow motion from the smoke and lingering fog.

“We lost our visual,” Jax’s tone was urgent, then disapproving- Stein. “What were you thinking, Mr. Rory.”

“Is Lenny there?” Lisa pleaded. “Do you see him, Flash?”

“Obviously, he wasn’t,” Harry growled. “Now I definitely don’t have a shot.”

“Talk to me, bro,” Cisco entreated, but Barry couldn’t.

It was as though his world had abruptly stopped and immediately began spinning in the opposite direction.

“Mick,” Snart drawled as the Pyro dropped his bike about three quarters of the way in favor of Barry’s side of his ring of fire.

“Snart,” Mick nodded his hand resting on the Heat Gun now holstered as his side.

“Flash,” Len nodded causing the knots in Barry’s stomach to tighten.

Barry didn’t- couldn’t answer. The coms buzzed with non-sense as despite the icy tone with which the other man said his name as well as the cruelty in his smirk, he could not only see, but feel Len’s desperation. It rendered him speechless and he wanted nothing more than to whisk him away.

“Heard you were looking for me,” Len opened his arms dramatically. “Well, here I am.”

“You’re Welcome,” Mick grumble sincerely, but Barry ignored him and forced himself to speak.

“You- you, don’t have to do this, L- Snart,” Barry’s tone held the tsunami of emotions raging inside of him. “None of you do. There’s another way.”

“Hmm,” Len pretended to study him thoughtfully, and Barry felt his heart sink as ice gathered between Mardon’s palms. “Is the other way disregarding the constitution of these great United States?”

“I’m not going back,” Baez blurted, determination mingled with her fear. “I Can’t.”

“None of us are going back, Flash,” Mardon called to him, “because you and your friends aren’t leaving here alive.”

“Sorry, Flash,” though Len didn’t sound it at all, “looks like it’s unanimous. There are worse things in this world than your- alternative- zoo, hmm?”

“That’s right Flashy!” Trickster cackled. “There’s a new speedster in town. He wants you dead, and I, well, I like his style.”

Barry ignored the lunatic cackle, because ice filled his veins as he realized Len was telling him who was behind the entire mess. They’d been right, and while Barry had known it all along to some extent the truth of it suddenly hit him full force. His anger swelled and he clung to it.  

“You’re working for Zoom?” he demanded, lighting crackling in his eyes. “All of you?”

“It’s not like we have a choice,” Hartley Rathaway glared at him when he realized he’d spoken aloud and he stepped up next to Baez and away from the Trickster.

“There’s always a choice,” Barry took a small step forward.

“Maybe for you,” Shawna shivered visibly.

“For everyone,” he insisted, then pleaded, though he was sure it would do no good- a rock and a hard place for all of them. “Len, please.”

“I choose revenge,” Mardon decided easily, the storm clouds began menacing once again, but an outstretched arm from Len stayed the swirl of ice the weather Meta was clearing itching to toss.

“I choose chaos,” Trickster sang gleefully cackling once again.

“What are we waiting for,” Bivolo's eyes began to glow as his impatience mounted, though Barry was suddenly almost positive it was due to nerves.   

The sudden telltale whoosh of an entering speedster accompanied by blue lightning prevented anyone from answering. Barry’s hair stood on end and bile rose in his throat. Fear and fury danced in Len’s eyes when they met his. The surrounding smoke became a cyclone as the demon speedster raced around them fast enough to extinguish the flames.

“Bro, what’s happening?” Cisco demanded. “Talk to me buddy.”

“Zoom,” Barry’s voice was barely audible, so he wasn’t sure they’d even heard him, but he was sure they knew when the villain in question spoke.

“Flash,” it was long, drawn out, gravelly, and fucking terrifying.                                     

 “You should have run while you had the chance, kid,” Len shouted at him, but his anger had evaporated his eyes shining with something Barry would have thought impossible when they’d first met.

Their gazes locked and Barry saw the same terror in Len’s eyes that had washed over him only seconds before. Not fear of death or bodily harm, not for himself, anyway, but for those he loved. Barry was suddenly painfully aware he was one of those people for Len. His body begged him, vibrating with the almost overwhelming urge to dash forward and snatch Len out of dangers grasp. To keep him from harm forever. Though he knew he couldn’t do that, it was the way Len subtly stepped toward Baez and Rathaway, who had sort of shrunk back together, as if to protect them, that cemented it.     

  “Stay back!” Barry ordered in a surprisingly steady voice, or perhaps it only sounded steady because his vibrating vocal chords made it difficult to hear any subtleties. “All of you! Stay back!”

Barry missed the undoubtedly negative responses when the Demonic Speedster appeared as if from nowhere in the center of it all looking somehow more disturbing than he sounded. Maybe that was because evil seemed to seep from every single one of his pores.

“Well, he’s fast,” Mick decided from what was decidedly a very unsafe distance and not just because he happened to be closest to Central’s newest and most terrifying monster. “Ugly, but fast. Real ugly, though.”

“Not, a good idea, Pyro,” Harry barked into the coms, but Barry barely heard them.

Zoom only had eyes for him, and he intended to keep it that way.

“Zoom!” he shouted with as much force as he could muster, his lightning crackling threateningly. “It’s me you want. Here I am. Let everyone else go.”

Zoom didn’t deign to respond verbally, instead he let out a low chuckle that Barry was sure made even the Trickster shiver.

“Unless you’re afraid,” Barry forced himself to continue. “Is that why you sent the B- Team over? Don’t think you can take the fastest man alive on your own?”

This time Zoom growled and it was even more horrifying.

“Idiot,” Barry somehow heard over the coms and he wasn’t sure whether it was Harry or Mick, maybe even Cisco, but he had to agree when Zoom took a step towards him.

“I am the fastest man alive,” blue lightning crackled as he took another step. “I will bring this earth to its’ knees, Flash!”

“Is that a challenge?” Barry eyes darted to Len for a split second trying to tell him to get the fuck out while he had the black clad speedster’s undivided attention, though he was sure the stubborn Rogue wouldn’t listen, nor would Barry’s own team.

“A promise!” and Barry believed him. “I will destroy you, but not before I dismantle everything and everyone you love, piece by piece!”

“I can’t let you do that, Zoom,” Barry prepared to do the only thing he could think of.

He had to get this- thing- away from the city and the people he loved.

“You can’t stop me!” the certainty in which he retorted made Barry’s stomach sink and his blood run cold. “You can’t save them, Flash! You can’t even save yourself! This city- and your city- this world- Will. Be. Mine!”

“Flaaaaaaaash!” Cisco shouted into the coms but that was all Barry heard.

 Before he could take his first step Zoom landed his first blow.

“Stay back!” Barry ordered again, though weakly as the air was forced from his lungs for the second time in as many seconds.

Zoom was akin to Girder, or a freight train, but with a thousand times more malice packed into his bone crushing blows. Barry zipped back only for his nemesis to slam into and send him stumbling back. Every blow that Barry landed- Zoom landed twice as many. It was too fast for the others to see, but it rattled him more than he thought possible. It wasn’t that he’d never taken his fair share of beatings, but the other Speedster possessed powers and a determination he’d yet to encounter. Not to mention his aura was sinister and foreboding in a way that took his breath away all on its own.

A fear Barry felt in his bones washed over him.

It was all he could do to fend off the vicious assault: missing more than he caught. Worse it felt as though he was being toyed with. Zoom was enjoying himself. Immensely. Barry’s anger flared, though his strength was waning. Harry had been right, and that angered him just as much as everything else, which told him just how desperate he truly was. Being angry at Harry was ridiculous. Barry had been the one to fuck this one up, failing to protect those he loved- again.

The pain was hardly registering and neither was whatever else was going on around him, which he hoped was nothing. More destruction was the last thing they needed. Still, the thought of having his friends and family watching him get his ass kicked spurred him on farther.

“Your undeserving world will be mine, Flash,” Zoom taunted as he landed another blow. “As will your speed.”

Barry growled and finally managed to land a solid blow despite his ringing ears and swimming vision. It was Zooms turn to stumble back and Barry clung to it, using the smidge of hope to carry him through his next strike. The growl it earned no longer terrified him as he plowed on. This was his earth. His family. His friends. The Reverse Flash reeked enough havoc in his life- for fucking decades- this thing wasn’t going to do the same.

Barry was the fastest man alive. He could do this. He had to this. The alternative was unbearable.

“Expand the perimeter!” he barked into the coms, though he wasn’t certain they were working, a crackle of lightning gave him an idea, and added to his desperation, afraid the other Metas were joining the fray.

Barry didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, he used the millisecond his latest attempt to gain some breathing room afforded him to his advantage and did what everyone had demanded from him since the fateful night his world and family were torn apart-- Barry ran.

The fatigue weighed on him as he circled the park, just as Jay had instructed. He wasn’t sure how much more of anything he had left. Even as he prayed, using mostly shear will power to push the limits of his speed, doubt gnawed at him. Especially, when he glimpsed Zoom, who was seemingly simply waiting.

With a pained cry, Barry launched his last hope at the Demon Speedster.

He knew it was going to happen before it did. While Barry was no longer moving everything around him seemed to be playing out in slow motion. Zoom had been toying with him judging by the ease in which he flipped, catching the bolt before it found its mark and returned fire. Barry went down along with the large elm he’d crashed into. It felt like too much to even attempt to struggle to his feet as wood splinters rained down on him, even more so when a deep unsettling chuckle emanated all around them.

This was it: the expletives that echoed over the coms told him everyone else knew it too.

Barry didn’t even get a chance to take a breath after he forced himself to his feet before he was once again stumbling backwards another elm, or perhaps an oak, allowing him to stay his feet, though the poor tree came out worse for the wear as well. The blows hurt, but somehow felt dulled as Zoom taunted him using them a punctuation, “You are no god… when you’re dead, who will protect your precious earth… it will be mine… your speed will be mine, Flash…I am the fastest man alive!”

Barry’s breath caught in his chest. He was sure his ribs were broken along with some other things. His vision swam and he was struggling to maintain consciousness. Oddly enough he began to catch snippets from the coms, but as badly as he wanted to shout for everyone else to flee, he couldn’t. Still, the stream of nonsense somehow kept him from going completely under.

“… no line of sight!”

“…cameras- can’t keep them back!”

“… flame retardant?”

“NO!”

“… vitals are bottoming out!”

“… Pass out!”

“… fucking idiot!”     

“…something!”

“…anything!”

“Run,” Barry gasped, but he wasn’t sure it was even that. “Run.”

“None can outrun me!” Zoom, apparently the only one to have heard him, asserted, before a pain Barry never could have even fathomed stole the last of his breath and strength. “Not even you, Flash!”

“I don’t mean to be a Noodge,” Len’s voice sent a jolt through Barry as it cut through all the rest, even as he began to fade completely. The sound of the Cold Gun made Barry’s heart skip a beat even as he felt his whole body go limp. _No_. “But, kill him now, and you don’t get the speed.”

 _Len_ , Barry tried to shout but nothing came out as he attempted to get one last glance at the man he’d come to save, but he couldn’t move.

“That, was the plan- Fastest Man Alive and all that,” Len drawled unconcernedly, and somehow Barry knew he was coming closer.

_No._

“He’s bottoming out!” Barry recognized Cisco’s voice, though he wasn’t sure where it was coming from- he sounded so far away. “He’d going to die!”

“Please, god no,” Iris sobbed and though it seemed impossible the vice clamped around his heart tightened.

“Fucking do something,” Lisa, he recognized her voice. “Now!”

“Barry,” Caitlin’s voice was barely a whisper and her tears were evident, he knew, despite being half sure it was all only in his head. “Not again… we can’t lose him.”

 _Run_ \- Barry thought at them all, struggling to open his eyes, their desperation allowing him to hold on, because he couldn’t lose them either- _run_.

“Say good-bye, Flash,” Zoom’s voice seemed to echo throughout his whole being as did the sound of a revving engine.

“Mr. Rory! No!” Barry wanted to shout too, though he had no idea what Mick was doing, but he couldn’t.

It was too late- Barry, was too late- again.

The Demonic Speedster’s unearthly chuckle was the last thing Barry heard as his world tilted, but he _felt_ the desperate shouted chorus of no’s. He was consumed by a bone chilling cold. Barry would have cried out if he had in him, but he didn’t. Then the terror and cold gave way to blinding pain before darkness swallowed him.    


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know, long, but because Len's POV. The battle from where Barry left off and the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello :-) also eeek! I never intended for it to be this long a chapter, or take as long as it did, I had a bit of trouble with it, and am not entirely sure I'm happy with it, but also some of the battle from Len's POV as requested by the anon on tumbler, so there's that lol. (I am Likes-To-Icicle, come say hi!) I sort of decided to do that part as a continuation from where Barry left off, so I hope you like it, love! 
> 
> Again, you guys are Rock Stars! Legends! Thanks for the support! ENJOY! ~Loretta~

Leonard Snart knew pain, even fear. In fact, he knew nothing else as intimately, though he’d hardly ever admit it. In that moment, however, he was riddled with something else entirely. A terror born of the sort of helplessness he absolutely despised. One he hadn’t felt in years. Not since before he’d fled with a preteen Lisa in tow.

It was surreal in the most mind numbingly raw way imaginable.

Len wasn’t a good guy. Not by any normal standards. He certainly harbored no illusions to the fact: unlike the idiotic stubborn Speedster laying in a hospital bed hooked up to all manner of machines with tubes protruding from his ridiculous spindly limbs across the room from where Len leaned against the door jam. It was the farthest he could get without sacrificing eyes on the moron who’d almost died for him- again- and still might.  

He clenched his fists and while it was quite painful, it was at least slightly better than the vice crushing his chest.

Barry’s stupidity and stubbornness must have been enhanced with all the rest-- the only valid explanation: The Fastest Man Alive and he refused to run. Un-fucking-believable.

Stupid. Stubborn. So Godsdamned infuriating. He shouldn’t have come. Still, Len knew he would-- so fuckin’ stupidly stubborn.

Len had a plan, not a good one, or altogether coherent, but anything was better than what had happened.

Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of Lisa hovering over Mick who surprisingly, had been doing his damnedest to resemble a compliant patient. Still, as the minutes ticked by and his hot-headed partner began to regain his strength the resemblance became more akin to a very grumpy grizzly stuffed into a hospital gown. While it exasperated Lisa and infuriated Dr. Snow beyond what Len had previously thought possible, it allowed him to relax, if only a little.

Never had Len felt so fucking helpless as when Barry had gone completely limp and Mick simultaneously decided the best course of action was to crash his Godsdamned bike into the Demon Speedster.

Worse, Mick, who wasn’t wearing one of Cisco’s fancy suits, took some of the blast from the Cold Gun- frost bite. They’d both crumpled to the ground. Len froze. The Cold Gun whirred to a stop along with his world. He couldn’t breathe. Zoom let out a rumbling growl and turned on him, but Len couldn’t move. It was all but impossible to tear his eyes from his impulsive ice incrusted best friend and naïve nemesis who lay unconscious at the black clad Speedsters feet.

Zoom took a step towards him, and while Len had always been a survivor, in that moment, he was all but certain he wouldn’t—or that he wanted to.

Closing his eyes for the briefest of moments, Len thanked the gods, which had always forsaken him for not doing so at the end of all things- Lisa was safe.

That knowledge gave him strength- even as his world shattered. It was all that mattered in that moment, because he was suddenly painfully aware there was nothing else- not anymore- but his baby sister was safe- at least there was that.  

His one saving grace- yet, even that was all because of the absurd Speedster laying broken before him.

Len had taunted Barry in his attempts to get him to back off- to run- told him he thought he’d never be grateful to Lewis for anything, but he was, and that was true. The lie was the why. After everything, _years_ of bullshit, Lisa was safe because Lewis was a piece of shit- or really- _because Barry._

Len owed Barry all the markers.

Everything he thought he knew- everything he thought he wanted- he’d been wrong. Yet, now-well, now, it was too late. It’d been almost a relief- to know he wouldn’t have to live with that particular regret for long, or any of the regrets that suddenly seemed to hit him all at once. He shoved them away and straightened his spine as adrenaline flooded his system, determined to pay the Demonic Speedster back in full.      

“Captain Cold,” Zoom rasped somehow condescendingly taking another step towards him. “So, you want to be a hero?”

Len had always been a fighter too, which was something, despite all the rest, he would continue to be until his last breath. He wasn’t a hero in any respect but the whir of the Cold Gun was all the answer he intended to give. A smirk ghosted his lips- revenge he could do.

Len clung to it and pulled the trigger.

The triumph lasted as long as it took Zoom to dash the 50 or so yards that separated them. Len’s head snapped back, bouncing off the scorched earth and the metallic taste of blood coated his tongue. The pain was astounding but the sort he could handle. A mirthless laugh escaped of its own accord as he rolled onto his side spitting blood then offered his enemy a crimson smile.

Zoom growled.  

A sharp popping sound, which was Baez and Rathaway teleporting to Barry and Mick’s side, was drowned out by the crunching that was Zoom crushing the Cold Gun underfoot. It should have made his heart sink, but it somehow spurred him on. Biting back a groan, though still smirking, Len pushed to his feet, then turned to face a fate that was probably better than he deserved.     

“Poor choice, Captain, as you can see…” Zoom menaced then glanced over his shoulder at Barry. “- Heroes die.”

“Everybody dies,” Len steeled himself in lieu of following the Demonic Speedsters gaze- that kind of pain- he couldn’t. “And hero ain’t on my resume.”

 No amount of anticipation could have allowed him to parry more than a couple of the blows that rained down on him. Len did his best to keep his hands up to protect his face, and his arms tucked to protect his torso while crowding in close to prevent his opponent from getting any real leverage. It was all in vain. In mere seconds his vision blurred with every strike and it was becoming impossible to keep his feet.

Then he was cornered- Zoom relishing every inch Len lost until he was backed up against the oak that had nearly crumbled under Barry. A large gloved hand bunched in the front of his parka. Len gasped and struggled- but that was all.   

“Any last words, Hero?”

Zoom tightened his grip and lifted Len off the ground. He wasn’t entirely sure it was real, but he thought he caught a figure darting through the shadows. It was something- better than nothing- he supposed- so he prayed they were on his side as he rasped. 

“See. You. In. Hell. Asshole.”

Gripping the Evil Speedsters shoulders with what he was sure was the last of his strength Len snapped his head forward. His crown smashed into Zoom’s masked face. His vision darkened around the edges, but his efforts produced about the same results had he simply blown on him. Len wasn’t a good guy, but this- thing- was evil.

 Len felt it with his every molecule.

“You are not the first, nor will you be the last,” Zoom loomed over him impossibly. “Heroes fall, yet I endure! I. Will. Always. Endure!”

It was a ludicrous decision, but the only option left to him, also fuck Zoom.

Len reached behind him and snapped off a large splinter that had been stabbing through his parka then swiftly and with every ounce of strength he yet possessed plunged it into Zoom’s chest. The Demonic Speedster dropped him, most likely in surprise, and he landed in a crumpled heap at the base of the tree.

The unmistakable crack of a gunshot followed, ringing throughout the park. Len glanced up, gasping and blinking rapidly to clear his vision in time to see a snarling Zoom plucking a dart from his thigh, which was odd considering a foot-long shard of oak was protruding from his chest.

“Wells,” Zoom growled so low Len almost hadn’t heard him, but either way his brows knit together when there was a surge a blue lightning and the Speedster was no longer there.

Len didn’t take long to contemplate it. The Burning Man suddenly swooped in low before landing, still burning, beside Barry, Mick, Rathaway, and Baez. Battered, bruised, lacerated, and bleeding, Len shoved to his feet with a groan. Things were broken, so many things- not all of them bones.

His vision still swimming, he grit his teeth and stumbled as quickly as he could manage to join them.

“Don’t!” Baez shouted at the burning man, who reached out for Mick as she carefully stabilized Barry’s neck and head. “Fire is the last thing HeatWave needs right now. We have to get them to a hospital. I can teleport him with some help, but I’m afraid to move Flash.”

“How was I supposed to know, Gray! Mechanic, remember?” the Burning Man- FIRESTORM- snapped.  

“No, Cisco,” Rathaway interjected and Len realized they had to be talking into coms. “Just stop talking- Caitlin?”

 “Doc, it ain’t gonna matter if he’s dead,” Baez replied to something. “It’s too dangerous to move him like that. There’s too much damage. We need…”

“Shawna, Cisco’s right, for once,” Rathaway reluctantly cut in. “It’ll put everyone he knows at risk.”

“He needs a hospital!” Baez barked, her medical training, though not quite as extensive as Dr. Snow’s, compelling her to save her patient regardless.

  “We can retrieve Doctor Snow,” FIRESTORM, who now that Len was looking, was not the same FIRESTORM he’d seen before, offered.

Two Speedsters, two Burning Men, things were more complicated than he originally imagined, but that didn’t matter right then. Both Mick and Barry’s breaths were coming out in short bursts, uneven. Neither of them were stirring. Len’s eyes burned as his fear and frustration mounted. His physical pain had dulled but the rest left him unable to do anything other than look on helplessly.

“Harry?” FIRESTORM questioned sharply before spinning around looking for someone worriedly. “I don’t…”    

“Are they breathing?” A lone figure darted from the woods with a visible limp.

Despite it all, Len felt a jolt of surprise at recognizing Dr. Harrison Wells.

“You!” Rathaway skittered backwards a little.

“Where were you, man?” FIRESTORM demanded, but the man’s pace never faltered as he ignored him.

“Not him, not sorry, move on,” Wells bit out at Rathaway, before sliding into the fray and addressing Baez. “Breathing?”

“Yea, but I dunno for how long,” Baez replied as Rathaway seemed to get a grip on himself.

“Gimme,” Not Sorry Wells snatched Rathaway’s coms from him ear, ignoring his indignant, yet slightly feeble protests. “Dr. Snow?”

Len hated being able to hear only one side of the conversation, but it wasn’t as if he would be able to help anything regardless. His vision was dimming, and it was difficult to remain upright, but he did, and would, at least until he saw this through.  

“Of course we can, Crisco. We have guns and fucking super powers,” Harry retorted impatiently feeling for Mick’s pulse. “Apparently, Ms. Snart is the only one among you will any sense.”

“We are not robbing a hospital,” the burning man said, his tone laced with incredulity as Len’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of his sister.

“That would be why she said barrow,” Harry snapped back. “Make yourself useful, Jax-Stein, whoever, and go commandeer us a hospital floor.”

“We are not…” the Burning Man began.

“We have no choice!” actual anger this time and Len agreed with Not-Sorry-Wells whole heartedly.

“You have no choice,” Len finally found it in him to join the conversation when FIRESTORM opened his mouth to protest again, making it personal. “Unless you want them both to die.” 

He would rob all of the hospitals if it meant saving Mick and Barry.

“You wanna live with that?” Len asked with an icy accusatory glare when he saw his previous words had an impact.

“A whole floor?” Stein-Jax asked after a beat.

“A hospital one,” with everyone seemingly on the same page Dr. Wells turned his full attention back to Mick and Barry. “Gimme your jacket, you.”

Perhaps under any other circumstance Len would have made some sort of crude remark or at least iced him a little first, instead he shrugged out of his ruined parka, which Wells draped over Mick.

“What about Flash?” Baez questioned urgently.

“Regenerative abilities,” Rathaway answered. “HeatWave- not so much.”

“Frost bite is the least of The Flash’s worries, right now,” Wells informed angrily and Len realized Barry’s suit hadn’t melted the ice as it should have.   

“Still, we need to get him out of the suit,” Baez interjected worriedly glancing down at Barry.

“Too dangerous,” Wells retorted dismissively.

“How much will his identity matter when he’s dead?” Baez challenged.

“Very much,” because it would- Len knew Barry wouldn’t want to put anyone in danger, even after he was gone, “to the people that’ll die.”

It made the knots in his stomach twist farther, but suddenly he felt a little less helpless, he could at least provide cover, or make someone else.  

“Mardon!” it was an order, Len knew the Meta was still there- he had nowhere else to go. “You want to live- fog, now!”

Apparently, though he was sure he looked as bad as he felt, he still wasn’t a man to be trifled with, or perhaps it was the fact that, though he’d somehow missed it previously and had no idea when the hell it had happened, Bivolo lay face up and unblinking nearby. Mardon grumbled as Len pinned him with a hard glare until the fog rolled in- a strange sort that allowed them to maintain visibility while masking their movements.

It was a smart move- despite the warning as to what was coming along with the smuggled phone- Len would not have hesitated to kill the Weather Meta. Not that Zoom would have either, Bivolo was proof of that, but they all knew he was going to kill them anyway when all was said and done.

With Len, Mardon had a chance- if he followed the code- maybe.   

“Useful,” Wells muttered as he worked to get Barry’s head and chest free, the ice making more all but impossible and Baez and Hartley disappeared with Mick after getting some sort of confirmation over the coms.

“Hang in there, kid,” Len muttered mostly to himself as Barry was unconscious, scooting closer, though resisting the urge to reach out. “You’re gonna be alright.”

“Maybe not,” the other man added without looking at him.

Len’s anger flared for a split second before it was swamped by all the rest, then the strange numbness settled in to stay, even after he realized Wells wasn’t addressing him. Then, the beating caught up with him in earnest-- after that everything was sort of a whirlwind.

He allowed Lisa to hug him briefly, despite the physical pain it caused, when she’d arrived in a ‘barrowed’ ambulance along with Dr. Snow. He was grateful for the brevity of her attentions, and the fact she took it upon herself to dull out orders to the remaining Rogues - The Trickster fled-for  which Len was also grateful. 

He did not possess the patience for that particular brand of bat-shit insane.

Without waiting or asking for permission Len had climbed awkwardly into the back of the ambulance with Dr. Snow as Wells and Lisa clambered into the front. Dr. Snow did her thing, but all Len could do was stare at Barry’s blood caked and bruised face and pray-- so he did.  

None of what transpired was supposed to happen, and that was Len’s fault, just as, if not more so than anybody else’s. The gravity and responsibility weighed heavy on him and while Len had never been want to dwell on the past, he couldn’t help it.

His stupid games. His love for the chase, the rush, the thrill of it all, his obsession with the Flash- all of the bullshit excuses. He took the deal, and relished in it, but even then, he knew that small victory wasn’t the cause of the triumph he felt- not really.

It went from there.    

Had he helped Barry contain the situation when the Meta transport failed instead of taking the opportunity to try and prove to not only Lisa, but himself, that Barry meant nothing to him. Then maybe at least three of the kidnapped Meta’s would have been somewhere in the North China Sea or at least not as readily accessible therefore forced into the service of the psychotic Speedster. In Bivolo’s case, un-dead.

Then Lisa and Lewis- that was on him too- but never again.  

Len had pulled the trigger. It was long overdue. As far back as he could remember Len had been certain Lewis would kill him one day. Accidentally- on purpose- it didn’t matter as long as it was him and not his sister. He goaded Lewis into fights- had the scars to prove it- if he had even the slightest inkling that Lisa would be that evenings target.

It didn’t always work, but he tried.

That imaginary line in the sand-- Lewis had crossed it. Sure, he’d always used subtle threats to get Len to do his bidding as soon as the jackass figured it out, but never like that. As Len got older, bigger, stronger- better- Lewis didn’t dare. He valued his worthless life more than anything and he knew Lisa was off limits. Yet, the bomb. Had it not been for Barry-

Len would never let the likes of it happen ever again. 

What had possessed Lewis to sign his own death warrant, Len would never know, but he didn’t regret it for one second, and he no longer cared- not the way he should. Lisa was safe. Again, that was all that mattered, and Len clung to it when things became almost too much- even as he stood there helplessly watching the Scarlet Speedster’s chest rise and fall much to unevenly for his liking.

Yet, that wasn’t exactly working either.

Dr. Snow was worried, even if she said she wasn’t. Accelerated healing or no, the crease between her brows told him the terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach was all too valid. Barry looked so young- so innocent- so broken as he lay unmoving. It made it difficult to fill his lungs for reasons that had nothing to do with his broken ribs. His eyes burned as he watched Barry’s sister hold one of his hands in both of hers, clearly praying as silent tears trickled down her cheeks.

That fell squarely on his shoulders too.

Len didn’t care that it was a ridiculous notion- illogical by most accounts. The others would deny it, but that was how he felt. It was just as unsettling as all the rest- feeling. Len didn’t do feeling, but as with most things as of late, so it seemed, it was out of his control.

The numbness was almost better. Len would have run as fast and far as he could get if he could stomach the thought of not seeing Barry’s eyes open at least one more time- just to see for himself that he was alright- but he couldn’t- so he stayed.

Besides, Len had one more thing to take care of- Zoom.

“Cait!” Lisa called out suddenly when Mick pushed her hands away struggling to sit up.

“Traitor,” Mick growled venomously, but Lisa only stuck her tongue out when the angry clip clop of Dr. Snow’s heels drew nearer.

Wells had demanded FIRESTORM commandeer an entire floor of Coast City General, but it proved unnecessary when they’d arrived in the ambulance with Barry barely hanging on as well as Len looking worse for the wear and Hospital officials gave them permission to use one of the private suites, a whole wing if they needed, without interference.

Heroes got all the perks, but Len didn’t care about the why or how- not then, not now, only that Barry and Mick would be getting the medical treatment they needed.

Len had almost forgotten he too was injured, a bit of shock, Dr. Snow said, but he didn’t want or need medical treatment. Well he did. Need it, that was, but not before Barry and Mick. He said as much, but Dr. Snow, who when angry could give Lisa a run for her money, as well as Iris, weren’t having it. Barry’s sister patched him up with help from his own, and he let them, if only so they could feel like they were doing something while they waited.

They all needed a bit of distraction- not that it helped much.

The waiting was the worst. It’d been hours. The sun was beginning to peak on the horizon, a new day, but Barry’s eyes were still closed. Len wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Dr. Snow had tried to force painkillers on him after she taped his broken ribs, stitched up his many lacerations, and he refused to go with the others back to the safe house for some rest until they could get Barry and Mick back to the labs.

Len didn’t want to risk not being there if Barry woke up.

“It’s for your own good,” Lisa hissed when Mick began to struggle again at her childish display.

Len was all but certain he would have to intercede, but it proved unnecessary.

“Do not make be tie you to that bed, Mr. Rory,” Dr. Snow swept past Len, coat tails billowing behind her. “Because I will.”

To Len’s surprise, Mick slumped back against his pillows, defeated, without even so much as an inappropriate remark. That might’ve worried Len, but if Dr. Snow was looking at him like that, he would probably have done the same.

“You need to rest, Mr. Rory,” Dr. Snow’s tone was somehow threatening.

“With all due respect, Doctor…” Mick began comically cordial, but she continued as if he hadn’t.

“And you will rest,” she leveled her steely gaze to meet his. “Do you understand me, Mick?”

Mick grumbled in the affirmative then growled as Lisa stuck out her tongue again when Dr. Snow took a moment to look over Mick’s vitals.

“It’s astounding,” she said almost to herself. “Your vitals- still, I won’t risk it.”

“Doctor Snow…” Mick began again in that oddly formal tone.

“Maybe,” Iris interjected gently putting a hand on Dr. Snow’s shoulder, which was another surprise- Len hadn’t even noticed she’d gotten up. “It would be easier on everybody, and since he seems to be doing pretty well, if you let him maybe put on some real cloths and take a bit of a walk.”

“Walk where?” Dr. Snow narrowed her eyes at Iris, not in a malicious way, but in a way that made Len think she was used to people shirking Dr.’s order and was frankly sick of it.

“Just here,” Iris assured her quickly. “I can go with him or Leonard and Lisa if that makes you feel better.”

Dr. Snow looked from Iris to Lisa, then at Len, but he only shrugged because he agreed with Iris very much so, and finally Mick, who was suddenly doing his best resemble an Angel stuffed into a hospital gown. Len saw the moment she caved, though, he was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the somehow slightly terrifying innocent smile Mick had been attempting.         

 “Cisco brought some clothes that should fit you,” the doctor agreed slowly and Mick’s entire face lit up, which only caused her to continue quickly in a much sterner tone. “Two laps, the IV stays in, and if you feel even a little bit off, you come right back here.”

“Sure thing, Dr. Snow,” Mick went to swing his legs over the side of the bed as little too hastily, and had to steady himself, then added urgently at seeing the change in the doctor’s expression. “Just been sitting too long.”

“Maybe…”

“No, Doc…” Mick sounded almost desperate, still blinking faster than normal. “I mean, Dr. Snow, just, please.”  

“I’ll take you,” she sighed after a long moment of studying his pleading face, and Len wasn’t sure when it happened, but he realized he sort of liked Flash’s doctor, though, apparently not as much as his partner seemed to. “Can you dress yourself?”

“And that’s my coffee cue,” Lisa decided as Mick looked down at the EKG wires and IV frowning. “Ms. West, would you like to join me?”

“Fine, I’ll do it,” Len gave a long-suffering sigh when his partner looked to him for help as Lisa tugged Iris from the room without waiting for a response, and earned a growl.

It made Len feel better though, because everything was ass backwards and a little normalcy might keep them all from going insane before the day was through.    

“I’ll be right- right here, when you’re ready, Mr. Rory,” Dr. Snow told Mick, but nodded at Len before pulling the curtain between the two beds, and busying herself with Barry.

Mick cursed and grumbled the entire time Len helped him change into the STAR Labs sweat suit Cisco had dropped off before he headed back out with FIRESTORM to ready a more suitable location. It was painful for Len too, but he simply grit his teeth, knowing it was the least he deserved after dragging his partner into the whole mess.

In Len’s admittedly weak defense, he had no fucking clue what else to do.

Zoom was using him to steal Barry’s speed, ultimately kill him. Len knew, and while he had no intention of complying with the Demon’s wishes, Barry was making it extremely difficult to play along, even in the vaguest sense. The not running, the showing up at STAR Labs, the showing up at the park- for someone so smart Barry Allen could be a fucking idiot.

The rest of the Rogues were on the fence more so than not, and while he’d managed to convert three and half- he still wasn’t wholly sure he wasn’t going to have to kill Mardon- out of four to his—cause, the situation was dicey at best.    

It had been so hard not to just take Barry’s hand, to go with him as he asked. Especially when the Speedster told him Lisa was safe. Still, he couldn’t. There was his crew to think of, at least Baez and Rathaway, Bivolo too, who mostly just wanted out. He almost did it, though-- just left. Then the lights flickered, and he recalled what they were up against in full.

Someone needed to tell Barry to back off before he got himself, and most likely all of his friends killed- that had been Mick- the only person in his life aside from Lisa he trusted implicitly.

Barry was a hero, and he should have known he wouldn’t listen- Len couldn’t let that happen again. As soon as he saw Barry open his eyes-- that he was really okay-- Len would make Zoom pay for all of it- even if it killed him.

Dr. Snow gestured for Mick to precede her into the hallway, before nodding to Len, her eyes darting, not so subtly to the chair beside Barry’s bed. Then he was alone with Barry. Len stood there for a few beats simply looking at Iris’ recently vacated chair, unsure of what to do. His heart urging him to take it, his mind attempting to rationalize the decision, and his instincts shouting for him to run the other way.

It’d always been just him and Lisa, plus Mick—not always easy, but safe and sure-- yet now, and though he wasn’t sure when it happened-- there was Barry too. 

A deep but painful breath, and he decided it was okay to move closer- that he could handle it- maybe.

Gingerly, Len lowered himself into the seat at Barry’s bedside. The intense quiet made him wince at every creek of the awful hospital chair. Len didn’t like hospital chairs, or hospitals for that matter, but he’d come this far. It was another moment before he could make himself actually look at Barry- his Scarlet Speedster.

It was silly, but he was afraid- that Barry would suddenly cease drawing breath, or his own heart would do the same, possibly shatter if he stared too long at that handsome battered face, or maybe Barry would abruptly wake up and blame him too—something.

Then again, something—anything-- would be better than nothing, right?

Slowly, with his heart in his throat, Len raised his eyes. They stung, but he ignored it: afraid but determined. Len swallowed hard when his heart did indeed stop, but it didn’t feel like a bad thing, not wholly. There was color in Barry’s cheeks- a faint flush beneath the fading bruises. The rise and fall of his chest had evened out, and he seemed to be less tense, maybe even relaxed- at least healing.

The rush of emotion Len felt gave him courage or obliterated his common sense.

Carefully, Len reached out, taking Barry’s hand in both of his, cradling it as though it was the most precious of gems- because to him, it was-- Invaluable.

Warmth surged through him replacing the numbness and a chill he hadn’t even recognized until it was gone. He had always acknowledged the Flash was handsome, attractive, at least- sort of. Mostly he ignored it, but in that moment-- Barry Allen was beautiful- in every way imaginable.

It was intoxicating and terrifying- Len’s breath caught in his throat.

He felt tears beginning to well as he held his breath. Gently, Len pressed the back of Barry’s hand to his lips. He wasn’t sure why- it was probably only going to add to the heart ache when all was said and done- but it felt right. At least in that moment. He held it there, scrunching his eyes shut, memorizing the feel of it.

Leonard Snart had never been one to pray, yet, he prayed for what felt like the thousandth time since the whole thing began- that those he loved would make it through- for the strength to see them through it-- not least of all Barry.

“I’m sorry,” Len muttered against the soft flesh barely audible. “I am so sorry, Barry.”

And because he could, Len kissed him again.  

“For shootin’ me? Or knockin’ me out?” Barry’s croak startled him.

 Len straightened abruptly, attempting to pull away, but Barry held tight, despite his less than stellar state as he looked at him with those impossibly warm eyes in a way Len could hardly decipher.

“Len.”

“Scarlet,” Len breathed before he made a conscious decision to speak.

“Len,” and his name never sounded so good. “Thank god.”

Everything he thought about saying or doing was lost. Len had planned to scold the stubborn Speedster; yell at him, tell him how much of an idiot he was, thank him. He wanted to hug him, hold him, kiss him, yet still threaten him never to do anything so fucking moronic ever again. Instead, a joy he’d never known mingled with a grief he understood all too well and stole his breath as a single tear escaped and slid down his cheek. Barry’s eyes followed it, and his face crumbled in a way that elicited another.

“You’re hurt, Len,” Barry let go of his hand and reached out to touch his swollen cheek.

Len automatically felt the urged to jerk away, but he didn’t. The flinching he couldn’t help, and his cheeks flushed ever so slightly, yet he allowed the man he owed so much caress his bruised cheek. His eyes closed and more tears fell as his heart managed to override the instincts that had kept him a live thus far.

In that moment, Len became certain the Scarlet Speedster—hero or no-- would be the death of him, one way or another—somehow, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

It would be the most beautiful death imaginable.  

“You almost died, Scarlet,” Len’s voice was barely a whisper when he finally found it.

“I didn’t,” Barry reassured earnestly, if quietly.

 Len almost felt it too-- reassured, but it seemed a sort of kneejerk reaction, then he frowned as confusion etched itself into the Speedsters features causing him to wince at the pain.

“I should get Doctor Snow,” gently but firmly, though it was the last thing he wanted to do, Len reached up and pulled Barry’s hand away from his face.

“Cait?” Barry’s brow furrowed farther eliciting another wince as he took the opportunity to interlace their fingers, seemingly just as loathe to let go of Len as he was of Barry, but then, as if emerging from a fog, confusion transformed into panic. “Oh, god, Zoom. Is everyone- are they- Where? How? Len… oh god, Zoom.”

Barry’s pleading broke his heart more so than Len thought possible, and his weak attempts to struggle up right only added to it. Quickly, but carefully, he took a seat on the edge of the bed and as gently as he could manage wrapped an arm around Barry’s shoulders to restrain him.

“Relax, Scarlet,” his tone was firm but soothing, or so he hoped. “Your team, your friends, the people in the park, all alive. Some bumps and bruises, but all alive.”

“But…” Barry looked up at him desperation mixing with his guilt and panic.

Len shushed him, just as he used to with Lisa when they were kids, but held off on the rocking, because the last thing he wanted was to make anything worse.         

“Zoom,” he interjected firmly holding Barry’s gaze in a way that didn’t allow the other man to look away, “is not here. Do not worry about Zoom right now, Scarlet. Here, is Coast City General. A private wing- apparently, while the pay sucks, there are certain perks that come with the whole hero gig.”

Len’s eyes widened, though, minutely as Barry actually managed to roll his, before narrowing them, Len’s presence and tone enough to comfort him at least that much, so he plowed on, figuring annoyed was better than panicked.

“Your little pal, Cisco, along with Firestorm, someone called Jay, as well as one of my own- I believe you’ve met him- Hartley Rathaway, have relocated to a more—suitable location.”

“More suitable?” Barry questioned, but sort of relaxed into Len’s side as his panic ebbed, which allowed Len to relax, if only a little.

“Top of the line security,” Len assured, then Barry raised a skeptical eyebrow, so he added. “And a small arsenal.”

“Of course,” Barry huffed and Len almost chuckled at his discontented pout.

“Absolutely,” Len nodded instead as though he hadn’t noticed. “And my sister is with your sister getting coffee while Dr. Snow accompanies Mick on a short stroll around said private wing before he gets too—shall we say? Restless?”

“You mean burns down the hospital,” Barry countered, but less accusatory than Len ever thought would have been possible.

“That too,” Len conceded with a nod- as surreal as the situation was, emotionally charged, and not to mention fucking bizarre, it felt almost- good. “But I think Dr. Snow has proven herself more than capable of handling Mick.”

Barry looked like he might laugh or make a joke, but suddenly his face fell again- guilty, “the other Meta’s? They’re- okay, right?”

Len should have been used to being surprised when it came to Barry Allen and his band of do-gooders, but he felt his eyes widen a little all the same.

“Mostly,” Len replied honestly, trying not to let Barry’s guilt seep into him too. “Seeing as Detective West, last I heard, was heading to the aforementioned more suitable location, Baez and Mardon opted to lay low somewhere else.”

“Mardon and Baez?” worry and a bit of skepticism tinged Barry’s tone.

Len wondered why he was more skeptical of, at least Baez more so than Rathaway, who seemed to have caused much more damage the she, but he didn’t want to get into that just then, regardless of how little sense it made.

“They’ll behave, Scarlet,” Len assured, perhaps a tiny bit irritably, despite having decided to let the Baez thing go for now. “Scouts honor.”

“You were a scout?” the Speedster seemed unable to help himself.

“No,” he’d almost said yes, just to see the look on Barry’s face, but giving anyone any reason to doubt him, even if it was a joke seemed a poor decision.

“Then it doesn’t count,” and Barry was serious.

“Fine,” Len acquiesced. “Criminal’s Code, then.”

It was silent for a beat, and Len belatedly realized he might’ve just ruined whatever understanding they seemed to have come to, but then Barry chuckled. “Fair enough.”

“You’re un-fuckin’-believable, Scarlet,” and it was now Len who couldn’t help himself. “You know that?”

“I am the impossible, Len, so yea, I know.”

“Hmm, humble, too,” Len observed and this time he couldn’t help but smile at the Speedsters chuckle, that was until he winced. Len frowned. “You need to rest, Scarlet.”

“And the other Metas?” the pain seemed to have reminded him.

“Trickster’s gone,” Len admitted, hating the way Barry’s big doe eyes darkened, though he couldn’t say with what. “Fortunately, Lisa, Mick, and I have some- associates- in Coast, so there’s ears to the ground and we’ll know as soon as he shows his face.”

Barry nodded, and Len felt a surge of warmth at the other man’s trust.

“And Bivolo- I saw he looked, I dunno, nervous?” Barry said a little hesitantly, deducing there was a reason Len had avoided mentioning him though clearly he was there, but needing to know all the same, adding hopefully, “but I guess it wouldn’t surprise me if he ran too.”

 “Dead,” Len replied flatly, deciding honesty was best, and for once Barry in no way surprised him when his face fell then contorted into a pained expression.

“Did I…?”

“No,” Len answered firmly. “But I couldn’t say who.”

“You’re sure,” Barry looked like he wanted to believe him, but also like he was bracing himself as if he was sure Len’s answer would change.

“Positive, Scarlet,” and Barry nodded, then it was all but silent aside from the whirring and beep of the medical equipment.

“Len,” Barry questioned quietly after a few beats. “How- how am I alive? I thought for sure- but I’m not, so-- how?”

“Mick,” Len replied honestly. “Crashed his bike into...”

“Mick?” there was less surprise in it than Len originally anticipated when he’d trailed off unsure how to describe his best friends ridiculousness without it sounding as horrifying as it was.

“You’re Welcome,” Mick grumbled causing Len’s head to snapped in the direction of the door as he added. “Barry.”

Len’s eyes widened but his attention was drawn back to Barry when he cried out at the unintentionally jolt.

“Fuck,” Len cursed himself as Dr. Snow hustled to Barry’s other side.

“I’m alright,” Barry insisted, but allowed Len to extract himself, which he was grateful for, because he wanted away from Dr. Snow’s worried and somehow almost accusatory disappointed glare.

Still, he was painfully aware he did not want to let go of Barry just yet, or ever- really.

“Barr!” Iris’ exclamation seconds later caused him to start even more and back pedal towards Mick’s unoccupied bed as she rushed to hug her brother. “Thank god you’re awake!”

Len continued to remove himself as far from the situation as possible, while the Doc interrogated the Speedster who wore a smile that was less reassuring and convincing than Mick’s innocent angel impression. Still, Barry maintained the façade, muttering apologies for everything from leading them all into a trap to simply being injured. He was clearly in pain, but he was more worried about them and vanishing the guilt that shone in both women’s eyes. 

Suddenly, Len was struck by the notion that, that was what good looked like-- what it was-- the embodiment of the connotation— Barry Allen.

“He’s okay, Lenny,” Lisa told him quietly placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and Mick saddled up to his other side. “The Flash lives to fight another day.”

“Still can’t believe that’s the Flash,” Mick added with an incredulous but amused shake of his head.

But Len wasn’t really listening. He was abruptly and painfully also aware there was another line of sorts drawn in the sand here too. One he had helped draw with a life time of less than conscience driven decisions. The wind had kicked up and obscured it, but not erased it. Len didn’t think it could ever be erased- not completely.  

Len not only felt it- he was an outsider, an intruder-- but he saw it reflected in the way Mick, Lisa and himself were gathered on one side of the room while Team Flash hugged and threatened one another what might as well have been from across the damn city for the disconnect he felt in that moment.

“I think he’s cute,” Lisa tried again nudging him playfully. “Don’t you, Lenny?”

But Len still wasn’t listening. The muted TV none of them possessed the fucks to turn off in the preceding hours caught his attention. It was the morning news and the astounding ticker at the bottom read:

**_Captain Cold: Central’s Villain or Coast City’s Hero?_ **

“Lenny?” Lisa questioned in a low but urgent tone before following his gaze. “What the…?”

His sister’s incredulous query trailed off as a video of the early morning battle began to play, but not before it drew the attention of the others, who in turn followed her gaze. The media had been there from go, documenting the fund raiser, but the footage picked up at the point where Zoom entered the fray, creating a horrifying funnel cloud of dense smoke seemingly bedazzled-- blue lightning.

It had been gut wrenching the first time around, but watching it again, even after it was all over, was somehow worse. All he could do was stare. Len watched in silent horror as Barry instigated a fight with the creature hell bend on destroying him and everything he held dear while shooting pleading glances in Len’s direction. Perhaps if he’d only listened… instead he simply stood there, looking on in a sort of haze along with everyone else, aside from Firestorm who was doing his damnedest to keep the civilians back. 

Not that they’d listened, and apparently, the jackass that shot the nightmare playing on the tiny hospital screen even moved closer.

Zoom’s threats were indecipherable, but the menace was still there, especially as Barry’s strength began to fade, alarmingly so. It had felt like an eternity, watching the other worldly douche get one up on Barry again and again, before the Scarlet Speedster managed to gain enough breathing room to mount his own assault.

Len wanted to look away when the blur of yellow began to encircle the park, knowing what followed, but he couldn’t. Iris gasped and Dr. Snow sniffled when Zoom caught Barry’s bolt and returned the sentiment with interest. Even Lisa’s nails were digging into his forearm by the time Len stupidly, but belatedly interceded.

“No,” Barry breathed after he watched himself go limp and Mick recklessly ram into the black clad Speedster while Len finally, fucking finally, did what he should have done from go.

The scene focused in, catching bits of audio. Everyone, including Mick gasped and the girls covered their mouths at the first blow landed once Zoom’s ire turned on Len. He simply watched in a detached sort of analytical way, noticing, while he did indeed get his ass handed to him and then some, that Zoom seemed a bit sluggish.

Perhaps Len was just as lucky as Barry to be alive, but he didn’t dwell on that, because the realization as to what happened to Bivolo suddenly struck him prior to the scene before him confirmed his unsettling revelation. Just before Len plunged the stake, for a stake it was, into Zoom’s chest, the figure he’d thought he might’ve imagined darted between the trees. Len’s eyes widened at noticing Zoom was already dropping him before the stake even found its mark.

It should have occurred to him before- how had the Demonic Speedster _not_ seen it coming?

 Because he was distracted by an apparent bigger threat. Despite the early warning the dart still slipped through Zoom’s outstretched fingers, though barely—Bivolo.

It’d taken half a day to convince the Meta to at least try and use his abilities to level the playing field in their favor, but when he flashed a rainbow of color at their kidnapper it seemed to be a wasted effort. Fortunately, or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it, it was, in fact, not so useless.

The effects were just delayed and Bivolo never saw it coming.

Len was a heap of gasping determination where he crumbled at the foot of the oak when Zoom made what, Len now knew, was a tactical retreat more so than anything else. By the time the lighting trail vanished Bivolo was sprawled on the ground with the splinter that was Len’s final fuck you to Zoom and his bid for power embedded in his throat- dead.

“Fuck,” Mick muttered under his breath, and while Len shared the sentiment, his voice seemed to have left him as he simply blinked at the screen.

**Captain Cold: Central’s Villain or Coast’s Hero?**

_What kind of fuckin’ bullshit question was that?_

“Lenny?” Lisa said quietly but in a tone, he was pretty sure meant she’d said it more than once.

“No,” Len replied, though no one in the room had spoken since he’d blinked them into focus and found them watching him anxiously.

“Wasn’t your…”

“Don’t, Mick,” Len snapped. “Just, don’t.”

“It wasn’t Lenny,” Lisa insisted anyway. “Can you not, please?”

“You, not,” Len retorted coldly, though the sentiment didn’t sound like anything his sister picked up his meaning and clamped her mouth shut.

Hurt shone in her eyes, and while part of him wanted to take it back, a bigger part of him wanted to be sick.

“Len…” concern, sympathy, irritation as only Barry could manage.

Len held up his hand, refusing to meet the other man’s gaze. It was already too much- he was at the tipping point- another regret-- it added to the weight on his shoulders.

He’d forced Bivolo try and whammy Zoom, certain that if it worked they’d be able to get a leg up before anyone got hurt, or at least killed. He didn’t know the guy from Adam, not really. He wasn’t sure he even liked him, but he was part of Len’s crew, and now he was dead.

Len had been wrong- as so often seemed to be the case as of late.

“Dad?” Iris suddenly popped to her feet, wide eyed, from where she was perched on the edge of Barry’s bed, just where he’d been not five minutes before. “I thought you were going to the house?”

“With both my kids at the hospital, and one of ‘em in a coma?” Detective West breezed into the room, only having eyes for his children. “Nah-ah, you’re outta your damn mind.”

“I’m awake,” Barry offered unhelpfully.

“You also almost died, Barr,” despite the Detectives’ brusque manner, he carefully wrapped his son in an emotionally charged embrace.

“I didn’t,” Barry reminded returning the sentiment in full.

“What am I going to do with you, son?” Detective West questioned thickly as he pulled back. “What were you thinking?”

“Better me than anyone else?” Barry replied in a light hopeful tone, but when it didn’t have the desired affect he added. “At least I was wearing the suit?”

If Len Felt like an intruder before, the scene playing out before him made him feel like a visitor from another planet. Suddenly, he felt claustrophobic. He need to be outside, or at least out of the there. However, his first step was amiss and he bumped into Mick who inhaled a bit sharply drawing the eyes of those that seemed to have completely forgotten their presence moments before.

“Len?” Barry questioned confusedly, seemingly unsure of what had happened.

Len did his best to slip into his Captain Cold Persona, but judging by the crease etched in the Speedsters brow, he was less than successful.

“Peachy,” an automatic response, and Barry’s concern deepened, so he continued. “Well, it’s been fun, but places to be, Things to steal, people to r…”

“Oh, no you don’t, Snart,” the Detective interrupted, pinning him with a hard glare. “Me and you are gonna talk.”

“That’s not necessary, Detective,” Len began.

“The hell it isn’t!” and Len didn’t blame him.

It was a better reaction than he would have expected had he know he was coming, but that didn’t mean he was going to stick around to chat.

“Dad!” Iris exclaimed forcefully, which was somehow worse than had it been someone else, even Barry. “You are not doing this right now.”

Belatedly, Len realized he didn’t exactly mind the fiery reporter either, in fact, he sort of liked her.

“I want answers…”

“Not. Right. Now.” Iris put her foot down, and in his defense.

If it was too much before, it was impossible right then. It was like Barry’s delusion concerning Len’s character was contagious. He needed out. Without another word, or looking at anybody, he turned on his heel and headed for the door.

“Len, wait, no,” Barry- desperate.

A dagger to his heart as he entered the deserted corridor, and his steps faltered. Still, they didn’t stop, because he couldn’t: reply, breathe, think-- any of it.

“Len!” and his name never sounded so painful.

Then a loud crash. He stopped dead in his tracts, despite the impending panic attack urging him forward, willing him to run before it all consumed him. He swayed on the spot; chest tight, dizzy with dimming vision, scared, jumbled- so fucking terrified.

Yet, none of that compared to the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back as Barry’s panicked and terrified voice echoed down the empty hall.

“My legs. Guys, I can’t feel my legs.”

Then Len’s gave out too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I'm contemplating an Earth Two chapter, cause I had my own vision, as did many of you, I'm sure, as to how it should have gone. lols. So, I dunno, I guess lemme know what cha think? Again, Thank you, and I have been Likes-To-Icicle, come say hi :-)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry gets an unsolicited pep-talk of sorts from a highly unexpected source.

.

Barry had a shadow. An unexpected and extremely irritating shadow- bordering on infuriating. It may not have been teetering on the edge of unbearable had his new shadow any sort of tact. In fact, shadow was probably a bit too generous. Stalker felt much more accurate.

Then again what else should Barry have expected from Mick Rory- HeatWave- certainly nothing even closely resembling tact.

He let out a long-irritated sigh at hearing the disbelievingly huffed “Flash,” for the ump-teenth time since awaking to find he’d been transported to the new safe house after he’d exhausted himself struggling against-- everything. Three fucking days ago.

Barry had to remind himself, and not for the first time, that it wasn’t Mick that was actually bothering him. Well, it was, very much so, but not solely. Still, either way, he was sure he was going to go crazy.

“Mick,” Barry pinched the bridge of his nose, closing the book he’d been staring at for the past 30 minutes without even pretending to read with a snap.

He tried not to sound as irritated as he felt, if only because it probably wouldn’t even register with the hulking fire-bug, which would only serve to irritate Barry farther.

“Isn’t there something else you should be doing?”

“Nope,” Mick replied easily taking a swig of beer.

HeatWave’s feet were kicked up on the beautiful mahogany coffee table in the gorgeous library Barry would have been giddy for under any other circumstances. Len’s more suitable location was hardly anything Barry could have imagined. A modest well-kept brown stone from the street, or so he’d been told, yet the interior took his breath away- or would have, had he had any inclination other than to leave as soon as possible.  

There were three floors, including the attic where they’d set up the make shift workshop. It had at least five bedrooms on the second floor. Undoubtedly, some of them had to double up, but it was still quite spacious. Barry hadn’t actually seen any of it, of course, but if it was anything like the first floor it was probably amazing. It had an open floor plan, the living room, kitchen, and dining room all in one, yet it was still just as homey and cozy as the library he’d commandeered, due to his desire for seclusion, and possibly because it was the only spot he could find that offered any sort of ease aside from his bedroom, though he would never admit that aloud.

Barry actually liked his room, because, yes, he thought of it as his. It was gorgeous, comfortable, and oddly soothing. It smelled like spearmint and fresh pine- a frosty-earthy scent, if there was ever such a thing. Burying his face in the pillow, inhaling deeply, had even allowed him to forget all the rest, though only for a moment. Unfortunately, it was marginally smaller than the library, and even more so with Mick set at the foot of the bed, so the library it was.

Barry could have liked it there, loved it even, but he wouldn’t let himself.      

“Okay,” he replied slowly, carefully. “Isn’t there something else you’d rather be doing?”

“Lotsa things,” another swig.

“Then why don’t you go do them?”

“Nope,” and again.

“It’s not like I can go anywhere, Mick,” the bitterness that had settled in Barry’s soul seeped into his tone.

Barry could walk, but only sort of, and it was painful, not to mention slow going—so fucking slow. The pain he deserved—the slow he couldn’t tolerate. He needed to go faster. To be _the_ fastest, instead, he could hardly take three steps in the time it would take Mick to block his exit.  

“Hmmm,” another.

“Then why are you stalking me?” Barry’s snapped, he couldn’t help it.

The entire ordeal had been enough of a god-awful nightmare—soul crushing-- without having found Mick Rory, of all fucking people, set at the foot of his bed when he awoke with a start in the early morning hours. Barry still didn’t know what the hell had happened. Well, he did. It played on repeat in his head, not matter how hard he worked to distract himself.

Len had left- walked away from him- even as he all but begged- it hurt more than the entirety of the battle with Zoom, and the beer swilling stalker wasn’t helping anything in the least.  

“Because, Red,” Mick sat forward, serious, not even bothering to deny it. “While you would be my last choice for so much as a distant relative, even an acquaintance- A hero.”

Mick scoffed ‘hero’ as someone else, a normal someone, might have ‘criminal’.

“Let alone a damn bother-in-law, my partner seems to disagree,” Mick narrowed his eyes as if it were entirely Barry’s fault- which it was-- but Mick was the one openly stalking him from room to room. “So, nope, Red, no can do, ‘cause that’s what partners do- watch each other’s backs.”

 It was Barry’s turn to scoff and narrow his eyes, because Mick’s reasoning sent a pang of anguish through him, which caused his anger to flair. Anger was easier, if not exactly healthy, and better than drowning.

He’d been doing his damnedest to forget-- the terror, the pain, the helplessness, the despair, along with the joy, the relief, the completeness… the way his heart was irreparably shattered as he realized his life, as he known it, had come to a screeching, crashing, burning end. Nothing would ever be the same. It wasn’t any one thing, per say, though, individually they were all enough—Zoom- his legs- Len—it was the complete shit show starring Barry Allen- the Most Pathetic, Selfish, Jackass Alive.

Barry didn’t think he was being too hard on himself, though the others might. The fact of the matter remained-- Barry was, however temporarily, confined to a wheel chair, while the monster who put him in it was still out there, plotting the destruction of everything and everyone he loved. Furthermore, one of those loves, and not the least of them, wanted nothing to do with him. It all nearly obliterated whatever will Barry yet possessed.

It was all he could do not to just hang it up.

Barry didn’t and would never blame Len in the least. It was on Barry. Just like everything else. The others might dispute that too, but the others were wrong. Watching the news cast of the debacle had made it all but impossible to breathe. Seeing the damage had pained and enraged him- but watching it inflicted had broken something inside of him.

Atlas might hold the world on his shoulders, but gravity had seemingly increased ten-fold before the entire goddamned universe was heaved at him.

The moment Barry realized he couldn’t feel his legs, he panicked. Joe and Iris had all but wrestled him back into the bed, gently as they could manage- doing their damnedest to calm him as he struggled, however uselessly, towards the door. His vision was dimming, his breathes refused to even out- drugs might not work but he felt himself fading as his hyperventilating worsened.

Barry hadn’t even noticed Cait flee the room, before she, an injured Mick Rory along with Golden Glider were carrying the man he was suddenly aware he wanted- almost needed- in his life more than he could have ever fathomed. Len _had_ come back, but that was almost worse. It wasn’t of his own volition- everything went dark again.

In the three days since, Barry hadn’t seen him but they assured him Len was fine. A bit of panic- Barry’s fault too- he wanted nothing more than to get out there and hunt down Zoom. Especially, when he realized seeing Len again, making sure he was okay, wasn’t happening.

Len was three floors up, locked in his make shift workshop- stairs Barry couldn’t do, though he’d tried.

 

 

 

Mick had carried him back to bed without a word, but Barry could not only see, but feel his jaw ticking. That was also the first and only time Mick had left him. That he saw, anyway. After that, the Pyromaniac sat in his stupid chair at the foot of his bed- any farther bids for freedom nixed. Cait turned up moments later- worried and angry. That was when Barry found his anger too. Anger was easier. Fury felt appropriate. As soon as he could manage, Barry was going to chuck it all back at the Demonic Speedster and then some- even if it killed him

<p>Mick’s presence only served to remind him his nightmare was all too real, which, again, would have been enough, without his ignorant misinterpretation. Hope was dangerous and painful- it only made the harsh reality that much more un-fucking-bearable.

The excruciating hollowness Barry had been battling with said anger- the one that had caused him to cry out to Len as the other man walked away- to try and climb the stairs- nearly swamped the fury that was the only thing at present allowing him to breathe.

Barry couldn’t let it.   

“You really are an idiot,” Barry bit out venomously, not caring he wasn’t being fair.

“Watch it, Red,” Mick took another sip of his stupid beer with a sideways glance, which caused Barry another pang, though, of what, he wasn’t sure- self-loathing was certainly part of it, but not all. “Alive, even safe, doesn’t mean conscious.”

“Yea, well, anything would be better than this,” Barry’s anger was there, but waning- the helplessness- the desperation. “So, please, HeatWave, do your worst. You’re supposed to be a bad guy, right? A Villain? A no-good Criminal? I won’t even fight back-- it’s not like I can anyway.”

“I’m an exceptional criminal,” Mick growled, and while the reply was not what Barry expected he clung to the way Mick lurched forward, meeting his gaze, his eyes flaring like the fire he loved so much. “Barry.”

“Oh, well, congratulations, HeatWave,” Barry scoffed, grasping at what, he wasn’t sure, but it was something, which was better than nothing, or so he told himself. “Your parents must be so freaking proud.”

Mick didn’t sip his beer. He put it down with a thunk that seemed to reverberate throughout the cozy library. Barry’s stomach sank. Not because he was afraid, or even because he was finally about to get what he’d asked for, but because Mick went slightly rigid as the fire in his eyes was snuffed out, replaced by something that made Barry want to beg his pardon- apologize.

He didn’t get the chance.

“Wouldn’t know, Flash,” there was a dangerous edge to the Pyro’s tone, a darkness Barry had yet to see.

It caused him to want to step back, though he couldn’t in the stupid wheel chair, so he just stared as Mick continued in a slow low menace.

“You see, when my dad murdered my mom, unlike yours- he had no plans to stop there. His plan, double murder. Unfortunately, for him, and probably the rest of the world- it didn’t work out that way. Went down in the books as murder/suicide- all evidence to the contrary went up in flames. So, my mom- I don’t really know, don’t remember her much-- but, all things considered, I don’t think my old man would care very much either way.”

“My dad didn’t murder my mom,” Barry replied automatically, having no idea what to say or do.

Mick had always just been HeatWave- a sort of abstract concept- even when he was Mick, but when he thought about it- Len and Lisa- Mick was their brother for all intents and purposes. He should have suspected- something, but he hadn’t given it so much as a second thought.

“Well, mine did,” Mick picked up his beer again, sitting back.

Barry was almost positive he was going to be sick as the Rogue took a long pull.  

“I- I,” Barry began, and though he was sure it wouldn’t make a difference as Mick finished off his beer, but he needed to say something. “I’m sorry, Mick. I- I had no idea, I didn’t…”

“Why would you?” Barry had rolled forward a little, but stopped when Mick’s gaze snapped in his direction as he replied, hard and dark. “I’m a no-good criminal and not nearly as pretty as Snart.”

Barry’s eyes widened as his stomach turned-- bile and a self-loathing crawling up his throat. He had no fucking clue what to say or do. Despite all the rest he knew Mick was sharing something with him very few people knew- probably only two- and there was nothing he could do to take back his awfulness.

So, fucking selfish.

“Mick…” it was automatic, even if it was all he had.

“This ain’t about me, Red,” Mick held his gaze in such a way he couldn’t help his fidgeting.

There was a glint in Mick’s eye, different from all the rest and unexpected in a way that made Barry flush as he became very aware of his gross miscalculations.

“Snart’s the best guy I know. He might not be your kind of hero, but he’s a hero to me.”

“I know he’s a hero,” Barry found his voice, irritated, and as stupid as it was, a sort of jealously began to bloom in his chest. Mick knew Len in a way Barry never would, not now, probably not ever. There was an intimacy that allowed him to say such things with a conviction Barry could never have done before it was already too late. Barry knew there was good in Len, but Mick’s tone held a confidence and a certainty that spoke volumes as to the depths of their relationship. Still, he continued. “He saved my life.”        

Mick scoffed, and the hollow pit in Barry’s gut expanded. Belatedly, he realized the man he’d been glaring and scowling at for the past 72 hours had also been instrumental in saving, not only his life, but that of all those innocent civilians who probably would not have stood a chance otherwise. His methods were unconventional to be sure, but without Mick things would have been worse- and by the margin of a fuck ton.

Barry was not only selfish, but a giant bag of dicks- it never even occurred to him.

“I don’t need or want your gratitude, Red,” Mick held up a hand when Barry opened his mouth.

“But…”

“No,” Mick insisted irritably and Barry’s mouth clamped shut. “What I want is for you to get your head out of your leather clad ass, stop wallowing in your bullshit pity party, and show me you can be the kinda man that actually deserves my partner.”

It was harsh and uncouth, but not entirely untrue, still, Barry narrowed his eyes, because he had no idea how to do any of that even he wanted to.

“And how in the hell am I supposed to do that HeatWave?” Barry snapped, though he was sure he sounded more helpless than angry. “Len wants nothing to do with me. It’s not like I can climb the stupid fucking stairs, either. I tried. I failed. In case you forgot.”

“’S the only reason I’m still here, Flash,” his tone condescending. “You might not deserve Snart, no matter what your little band of do-gooders might think…”

Barry knew it was Mick’s version of ‘Rebel vs. Revolutionary’- everything was relative.

 “You heroes are all the same. Think you have some God-given right—judge/jury/ executioner- blood is blood, Red, and you have more on your hands than most.”

Barry’s stomach sank even as the urge to defend himself bubbled up, but he didn’t. Mick continued.

“You have your reasons, so do we. Difference is, we own it- hero- vigilante- criminal- villain? Who decides? You? A bullshit delusion.” Mick scoffed leaned forward, farther into Barry’s space. “You don’t deserve Leonard, Red. Not now, maybe not ever, but you’re not half bad- not entirely- someday, you could.”

Barry’s scowl- his anger- it never came. Tough love was putting it mildly. Mick was an asshole, but he wasn’t an idiot.

“How?”

“’S up to you, Red,” Mick began to sit back, seemingly appeased, then paused when Barry’s shoulders slumped, adding, “I could’ve carried you up instead of back.”

Barry’s eyes widened a little, if only because, though the last ten minutes in and of themselves were almost inconceivable, Mick, for the first time since Barry met him looked uncomfortable. His freakin’ cheeks were actually flushed.

“Would you?” Barry managed once the silence became to awkward to bear.

“I’ll think about it,” Mick grunted and Barry smiled- a real smile- he also would’ve sworn he even saw the corners of HeatWaves’ lips twitch, but before he could decide Mick spoke again. “You know, Snart’s an idiot too, Red. Doesn’t think he deserves you, either. You got me?”

Barry just sort of blinked at him. The one-eighty throwing him off kilter, but managed a nod all the same at realizing that was the closest he would ever get to HeatWave’s blessing. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. A lot.          

A soft knock at the door prevented him from responding and caused both men to jump and sit up straighter, guilty and wide eyed, which was ridiculous- it’s not like they were doing anything wrong.

“Am I interrupting something?” Cait asked a bit suspiciously at noting their odd behavior.

“No,” Barry blurted at the same time Mick said, “’Course not.”

“Okay,” Cait said after a long pause, clearly not buying it, at least not entirely, then suspicion turned to apprehension. “Mick, I- um- I could use your help in the kitchen. That is if you wouldn’t mind, of course.”

“You need me to light somethin’ on fire?” Mick’s sat up even straighter, eyes gleaming.  

“The opposite, actually,” Cait fidgeted when Mick deflated a bit, but not completely. “Lisa said that- ah- she said you were a pretty decent cook- that you liked to cook?”

“I do,” Mick replied slowly, clearly searching for an angle.

“Well, um, I’m not, but I'd like to learn,” Cait admitted still fidgeting. “So, I could use your help—please?”

“Awful actually,” Barry added trying to tell Mick he wouldn’t find one. “Absolutely atrocious, really- it would probably more accurate to classify it as dangerous, like…”

“Thank you, Barry,” Cait glared at him, but looked more surprised that he’d spoken, which was something he’d forgone for the last 72 hours regarding everyone, well, aside from Mick, anyway, and that was mostly to impress upon his shadow just how annoying Barry found him. “But you can stop there, I think he gets the picture.”

“Just sayin’,” Barry shrugged, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. 

“Shut it,” he saw relief mingle with her irritation as she turned her attention back to Mick, though irritation was clearly dominating. “You gonna help me or not?”

“I-,” Mick seemed to be torn between being a good partner as he saw it and helping Caitlin.

 Then again, maybe he was torn between the possibility of getting to watch the safe house burn down without the repercussions of being at fault, and making sure one of their nicer safe houses wasn’t destroyed while simultaneously drawing all manner of unwanted attention. Barry thought it was about 50/50.

“I’m not gonna go anywhere, Mick,” Barry reassured honestly anyway. “Go on.”

Mick looked over at him, studying his face. After a long moment, Barry’s unexpected and suddenly surprisingly less infuriating shadow gave him a curt nod. He knew, Mick knew, he’d been talking about more than just leaving the library. It was a bit surreal and almost comical when the other man seemed to relax farther before he snatched his empty bottle from the coffee table and headed for the door where a smiling Caitlin awaited, slightly flushed.  

“Mick,” Barry blurted, wanting to at least apologize for being a prick or thank Mick for- whatever- everything- but he wasn’t too sure it would go over very well, and what came out was. “You are _kinda_ pretty, you know?”

 Mick’s shoulders tensed and Barry cringed, because what the actual fuck? His face felt hot, but Barry bit down on his tongue to prevent himself from rushing to take it back. He really meant it, sort of. At the very least, he could see it, and in the end it wasn't about how pretty Mick was anyway, not really. Just as Barry wished the floor would open and swallow him whole the arsonist barked out laugh- a real one.

It took a few beats for Barry’s surprise to wear off, but it did and he smiled. Mick didn’t smile back but he didn’t glare either. It felt like some sort of strange victory. One he would gladly take. Barry couldn’t help but chuckle when, with an incredulous shake of his head, Mick huffed out one last disbelieving “Flash,”

Then Barry was finally alone- something akin to hope blooming in his chest- he didn’t exactly hate it.                  

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got long, so I split it. Next we're back with Len and his unsolicited and unexpected pep-talk of sorts, then our boys are gonna have a bit of a conversation of their own, though even I'm not entirely sure how well that's gonna go lol. Thanks again guys! Legends, for real!  
> ~Loretta~


End file.
